I don't know what I want to ask....I think I want to gather in as much information as I can, from others raising children, and get some different views and pointers and some great advice.
Ds (10) is a lovely lad. He is academic, we're lucky there, not so sporty or competitive so a little different to the majority of boys. He has mostly worked with the upper year group and year above so we couldn't wish for better. He's an avid reader, and a clever, inquisitive, kind, helpful lad. He received an award and 50 team points last month for "Always being so kind and helpful". Don't get me wrong, he can fight like cat & dog with his siblings, can be rather cheeky, and lazy, so is most likely to be quite normal! He also has taken a liking to computer games which are controlled as he would probably spend a good 2 hours on them if allowed.
Tonight's issue is that ds (10) is having a tricky time at school with a lad a year older than him. Composite class. Other lad not all that bad, mother took off when he was 3. He takes ds's hat off him and rubs it on his bum. Ds does NOT like this sort of behaviour. Took ds's snack off him and kicked it around. Not in a bullying way, I don't think, I just feel this lad is lacking a few social graces and perhaps a little compassion and respect. Today he pushed ds out of the way, ds fell against a wall and grazed his arm, knocked his knee. Then later he took ds's jacket off him, then something else, then took his lunch from him and kicked it under the table. Ds welling up telling me this tonight. I have phoned the teacher around 3 times in the last few months to tell her of the episodes, she's very understanding, I apologise as don't want to waste her time, she disagrees, wants to know what is going on, spoke to the boys, ds told other lad what he does not like about his behaviour, other lad apologised. But then this tonight. I told ds I can phone, but this is going to continue until you put a stop to it. Me fighting your battles is allowing it to continue. He told a teacher about the pushing/wall incident but then forgot about the lunch issue so I told him to speak to a teacher tomorrow, but he will probably not, and I cannot keep on fighting his battles.
How do I encourage ds to deal with this? The other lad is rather big, and ds is quite small, he is aware of this and this is not helping, either.
The other issue is self-discipline tonight, as he did play on his iPod for about an hour before I had to tell him to turn it off and get a move on with his project which he has had for 3 weeks already, and feels no urgency over it as it is not required to be in until mid-March. This makes me think the teacher is expecting something amazing, but it is only a poster and I'm not sure a poster can contain much that should take 8 weeks to complete...however. So he sat at the table and asked me for "help". He hadn't even taken out his pens! We have discussed this plenty and I have given him my suggestions, but really, I think at his age, that's all I should be giving him. He needs to step up and make the effort. He then faffed on for the next hour and a half and achieved very little. I have said no iPod until it is finished. Otherwise he will just put it off. Again, how do I get him to do this without being led by the hand? I want him to do a great job- he is so capable, but just lacks enthusiasm....what do I do?
I would love to know how you handle your 10 year old!!!