I am a 'stressy' person & am finding parenting very hard. Does anyone have any tips for coping better.

[Jemster]

I have been on a/d's for a while as I struggle with anxiety & low mood.
I'm actually thinking they're not making any difference as I still find parenting really stressful.
I have ds 8 & dd 3. They don't get on well & i am forever trying to break up their quarrels or referee.
DS 8 is being very moody & quite rude at the moment & dd 3.5 is full on demanding. She demands that I play with her constantly, demands snacks and refuses the meals I attempt to make. She cries & stomps if I am firm with her. They are constantly screaming at each other.
I do work p/t and chose this so I can be there for them after school etc however I'm actually finding it so stressful I'm not even enjoying the time we have together.
I do get flustered easily & feel like I have no patience at all. Going to docs tomorrow as I'm sure my bp must me high with it all.

Does anyone else feel the same or does anyone have some advice for dealing with these feelings? I feel so fed up with it all & just want to be able to cope better but I can't seem to.

Spandex I have bought a couple of books but not had time to read them yet!

Sounds so stressful!

Things like making cakes always seem like a good idea until it actually happens. Then I end up on edge until they're in the oven 😆

I think you have to go easy on yourself a bit and try and have lower expectations. It won't always be perfect and it sounds like you've got medical condition which makes life so harder!

Do you have anyone you can do play dates with - I find this helps immensely with days when it is just me.

Yes I did try to arrange to meet friends today but they were busy. Ended up at the cinema this afternoon which was a relief as they were both quiet for a couple of hours!

Hey OP. I feel very similar. I'm 37 weeks pregnant with my fourth child and my eldest has ASD. I'm such a hormonal bitch atm! Currently just ignoring them all, might go scrub some skirting boards in a min :)

I learned a huge amount about parenting from a new friend who, when our kids were together, seemed to be able to defuse situations which, had I been on my own, would have led to tears. She was so much more confident than me and one day at the zoo she resolved a very aggressive "who sits where" situation by suggesting that the boys each took a table of their own. Full of admiration I marvelled out loud that she must have done this in another life only to be told that she had a 20 year old son by a previous marriage so yes, she had done all this before. Point I want to make is that we learn from experience. It is worthwhile recognising that you need help and try to learn from others because we all get stuck in a pattern of reaction which you have admitted isn't working for you. Try different approaches. There are loads of "experts" out there, read as much as you can to find a system that works for you. Sit your children down and explain that they are making you unhappy because you know that life could be much more fun if all of you behaved differently. Elicit their help, things will improve if you change direction now.
Good luck.

No tips I'm afraid. I feel the same. I'm anxious by nature and have felt guilt and anxiety overload since DD1 was born 8 years ago. She's just been diagnosed with ASD so at least I know that is actually hard, rather than I'm a shit parent. I'm think about seeing the GP for some ADs. I've tried anxiety meds before and they made me worse but there must be something that can help. My 2 girls get on well on the whole but DD1 needs space and DD2 needs constant company so they are starting to wind each other up. We don't have much experience of close age sibling relationship (DH an only and I have an 8 year gap with my brother) so never sure how much to intervene.

That must be hard Scone, I'm sure you are a great parent.
Esspee, I do like to read to get ideas but sometimes I end up confused as there are so many different parenting ideas out there. I have tried numerous approaches, reward charts, family rules lists etc. I guess it's just something you have to keep trying your best at. I just have a low stress threshold I think & get anxious and stressed out quite quickly.
I saw my GP who has 3 dc, older though and she agreed it's hard work especially when juggling a job too. She said to keep on with the a/d's as until they are at school you just have to do what you need to to get through it! She reckons when the youngest gets to 7 it gets a bit easier - only 3 years to go then!!