SECOND BABY PLANNED

[AMBERJADE78]

Hi, my DP and I are planning a second baby, having given birth to my DD in May 2006. I really want another baby but have worries regarding my feelings, time and energy towards both children (and SS) when the new baby is born. Im sure other mothers have been in this situation - does it turn out ok?

I had DS in Feb 2004 and DD in May 2006. When i was preg with DD i was worried about being able to love another baby as much as i did DS but can honestly say i needn't have worried as i bonded with DD straight away.

DS loves his little sister and even though 2 kids is hard work i don't think it's as bad as some people make out (by that i mean the old biddies who see me pushing the double buggy and say ooooh you've got your hands full there!!). Going from 1 to 2 isn't as big a shock as going from 0 to 1 IMO.

The only thing i would say is that even though there's never a perfect age gap i'm glad i didn't have them any closer together. At 2 and 3 months DS was at an age where he could play independently, feed himself, eat well, sleep well etc. But all families are different, you have to do what's right for you!

Everyone worries about this IME. But love doesn't work like that, thankfully. I worried for ages that I was somehow 'betraying' my son by having another baby, but it was the best 'present' I could ever have given him. They absolutely love each other, so they don't just have all my love (and it is ALL my love) but each other's love too. Today, my ds (five) when he saw his sister (not quite two) eyeing up a Meg & Mog book in Daisy & Tom, said, 'She can buy it out of my book token. I don't mind'. As the book token was my son's last ever Christmas present from my dad who died just before Christmas (we found it in his house) it very nearly made me burst into tears in the middle of the shop.
Yes, it is tiring, and sometimes it is very hard to physically divide yourself between two small people (esp in the early days) and there are moments when you feel guilty that you aren't able to give yourself 100% to either child's needs (I can't play board games with ds because dd wants to join in, eek!) but I would say it was very much worth it. I also have a stepdaughter - a great joy in my life - and she loves her little siblings. Seeing her march up the Kings Road today, all gloriously long-legged and teenage, proudly carrying her adoring baby sister, made me feel very proud indeed.

I have three years between mine, which works very well for us. I think less than two years is very hard work, but friends who have small gaps say there are rewards in terms of closeness later on.

Oh Aloha - fabbo post and so glad you're back.

I totally agree.

I worried about the betrayal issue too - then I thought about the fact that I have 2 brothers of my own and have never felt a shred of resentment towards them so why would my children!

Have 3 now - 5, 4 and 2 and they are great together. We have similar 'almost blubbing' incidents Aloha and it's lovely isn't it?

I have similar worries, despite coming from a large family - it's mad, isn't it?! (But quite understandable too).