FATHER OF CHILD'S FRIEND IS DIVORCED

[oliandmimismummy]

My 11 yr old DD is friends with a boy in her class. They've recently started playing at either our house or his, no problem there whatsoever. Anyway, he lives with his divorced father who has now suggested that we go out to the cinema one day. He knows that I am married and I don't think DH would be too keen on me going out with another bloke. What do I do?

How many adults need to take two 11yr olds to the cinema?

No offence OP but why do you think he would fancy you? Perhaps he just wants to makes friends with other parents and seeing as your boys are friends, it's a good starting point? It's hard being a single parent and probably tougher being a single dad trying to socialise as a single parent. Give him a chance, he knows you're married.

He's just trying to make friends with the othe parents. Give him a break, unscrunch your knickers and STOP SHOUTING

You could invite him around for dinner while the kids hang out if that feels better to you.

I'd arrange it and send DH

The look on his face will tell you all you need to know.

Or, in the real world, he takes both kids and you get a free afternoon and the next time you take them both (because no adult should have to sit through a kids film if they can get out of it).

I'd arrange it and send DH grin

The look on his face will tell you all you need to know.

No don't do that unless you're 12.

Being the type of married person who is convinced every single parent is a ravenous sexual beast who wants to do sexy sexy time with either you or your spouse is such a bad look.

I don't think it is a problem. I'm married and I've gone to the movies with my son and his friend and her dad. Although he wasn't divorced and I am friends with his wife, but that doesn't really make a difference that I can see...you are loyal to your husband and this other parent has the integrity to not be trying to flirt or whatever, hopefully.

If you're worried about it, have your husband go instead. That way they will get to know each other and then next time it won't matter which one of you goes.

I definitely wouldn't read anything into it - although it explains why so few men don't want to be SAHP's if they are constantly worried about women coming on to them / innuendo of catching a movie. My next door neighbour is a married man, as am I (actually a woman) and we meet in each other's houses when DH is not there. Are we having an illicit affair? No we are just two SAHP's wanting a bit of a chat now and again.

In saying this, I would tell your DP (casually) as otherwise he might think you are up to no good. We don't want to be here in a few months negotiating with you about your impending divorce proceedings.

To be fair to the father, he may be asking you because he is concerned you would not let your DD go with him and his son. Plenty of parents wouldn't. And he may go with his son because he likes to-I love taking my children to the cinema.

Attitudes like this are why being the at home parent was so very hard on my DH in the beginning. Fortunately, we have now made friends with people who don't have conniptions or visions of seduction if DH proffers an invitation of some kind.

I also agree that the children are eleven so one parent can handle taking them both to the movies. You can't really talk anyway during a movie, I'm thinking he asked you to go too in case you weren't 100% comfortable with him taking your child somewhere without you yet. You say your children have started playing together recently so it is courtesy on his part to assume you would want to go too until you've gotten to know him and trust him completely with your child. Could that be it?