New baby traumatised DD 😢

[foibles2011]

Hi mums I'm new here I have a four year old daughter and an 8 month old son. My daughter has always been very strong willed but she has been a happy and confident little girl. But since my son was born everything has changed 😢 she is deeply insecure, unhappy, jealous, clingy, has angry outbursts, is rude, tantrums, demands constant one on one attention and doesn't want to play anymore 😢.

We've tried everything to keep her involved and feeling special with having a new brother, we make sure to have one on one family time with her and also mummy daughter days and daddy daughter days, she has a reward chart and we constantly tell her how much she is loved and how proud we are of her. But nothing is helping 😢 her behaviour is terrible and underneath it all she is clearly very unhappy. I'm really at my wits end. I expected some upheaval with a new baby coming into the family but this seems extreme and prolonged I feel I've damaged her 😢 I feel so guilty.

Please does anyone have any advice or tips I just don't know what more I can do anymore 😯

It's a difficult one. I've recently had ds2 and noticed that ds1s behaviour did get a bit worse and he made references to not liking ds2 and became very clingy to me.
The only thing I can suggest, which it sounds like you're already doing, it's lots of reassurance. I've also had to say several times (at night when we're having a lovely snuggle not as part of a telling off) that ds2 is part of our family now but that doesn't mean we don't love ds1 any less etc etc. but also that poor behaviour is not acceptable. I assume you are rewarding any positive interaction but not forcing any. What about trying to have fun as a family of four?