2 year old going to sleep

[cornishglos]

Before having kids I swore I wouldn't do this but now I have a toddler who has always had me next to him to go to sleep. As he's getting older it takes longer and is more inconvenient as I have a baby now too. The problem is that I thought eventually he might grow out of it and need me less, but recently he's needed the light on too...
A lot of my friends say that they just leave their toddlers at night to just chat to themselves and go off to sleep. I just can't imagine this. Does it really happen, and if so, are the nights of anxiety and upset to get to this stage a necessity?
Thanks

Well I can testify to being able to leave Dd whose nearly 2 just to babble to sleep. 30 min bedtime routine finishing with a quick cuddle, pop her in her sleep sack and love you, see you in the morning, off I go. It can be done.

How you get from where you are to there is a more difficult question.

I'd suggest gradual retreat, with lots of quality time during the day.

I know you're probably right. It just seems so far from where we are now. He is in a bed so could just get out, but has never tried this. Thanks for the reply.

My little one is almost two and after his bedtime stories I pop him in his cot, he gives me a kiss and says night-night and then he lies down. Sometimes he goes straight to sleep and other times he will just talk to himself for about 20 minutes before dropping off.

He used to have lots of sleep issues so me and DH did some sleep training at 10 months and thankfully everything has been fine since.

Dd is 4 and she has the main light on overnight. She is never asleep when I leave - since she was 2 she's just chatted to herself or looked at books. I think they get to an age when you can reason with them.

Just saw your thread, then opened FB and saw this on my feed

Washington Post link

I can't imagine that either... My DS1 is 3, but when I tried to reason with him, he just kept telling "I need daddy to help me go to sleep". My DP started putting him to bed after DS2 was born. That would be ok, but he also comes to our room to get daddy every time he wakes up at night... (didn't do this before DS2 was born though). No idea how to get from this to going to sleep on his own, cannot bear making him cry...

I loved that article, thank you. Daluze, glad to know I'm not alone. I cannot bear for him to be genuinely distraught either.

By the way Daluze, ours started coming into our room at night when his sibling was born. We have always put him back in bed (and stayed with him until he sleeps). It stopped quickly.

You won't know until you try. He might surprise you.

Just put him to bed, do stories or whatever your routine is, kiss him good night and go out the room. Say you will be back shortly. Maybe leave the door slightly open. You can potter around upstairs so that he hears you are nearby.

If he starts crying, go in, reassure him and leave again. If he gets really upset, you can always sit with him like you normally do. You can decide how long you want to do it, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Good luck!

We do the same - take him back to bed and stay until he is asleep... but DS2 is 5 months now, and it it still going on.
He also recently had few nights with night terrors (probably related to overtiredness and moving to preschool), so I am even less willing to increase stress at bedtime.