nursery keyworker just told me my DD1 seems very sad at the moment. What to do?

[oswald]

hello I'm usually a lurker but looking for some advice on this. My DD1's nursery worker told me she seemed sad and was not joining in and enjoying herself as she used to, the nursery worker said when she asked DD1 what the matter was she said she missed me and her sister. My dh thinks we should take this at face value or that someone at nursery is being unpleasant to her. I think, but this might be to do with me and my feelings and projecting on to her, that the excitement of moving has disappeared and she is missing our old home and friends - we moved 5 months ago from Manchester where my 4 year old daughter had a group of 4 very close friends.She still sees them a lot but it's obviously not the same as we're 1.5 hours away now. She adapted here really quickly and really enjoyed the nursery where she goes part-time which was unexpected because she normally takes a while to adapt .Obviously it takes time to build up a social network and she doesnt go round to people's houses like she used to although she has made friends at nursery. I'm not sure how to approach this,I'm gutted that she feels like this, feel guilty about moving putting her through this, finding it hard my self in a new place. When I ask her direct questions she doesnt tend to answer them and she is generally quite a sensitive little girl and I dont want to make things worse by assuming that her feelings about moving are the same as mine. Maybe my dh is right and I am getting this out of proportion. Very rambling but would appreciate some advice.

Sounds like she's just having an 'off period' maybe the key worker just caught her at a bad time, a time when she was full of thought.

Sometimes when a child is asked about their feelings (when they are being quiet), they are pulled into a conversation and the feelings they inform the questioner are not how they are actually feeling at all, they answer how they think they should, to 'please' the questioner.

I would not worry too much, unless this has been the case for several days, children are very adaptable to change and soon get over things like moving to other areas.

Don't make the mistake of thinking you dd is feeling the same way as you, even though she maybe a sensitive child.

Take time and talk to her yourself without making her feel she needs to answer they way she thinks you want her too.

Talk to her while your doing something together like a walk in the park or even when your helping her with a picture, then she wont feel as though shes being questioned.

Thanks mothernature I know what you mean about answering how they think they should I always find that she does that if i ask lots of questions.I didnt mention in my post that this has been going on for about 3 weeks. I know what you mean by an off day but I do think it's a bit more than that. I'll try talking with her when she's drawing she's always very relaxed when doing that.

Could you start to build up a new group for her to replace the one she left behind. Perhaps find out which two or three children she likes best at nursery and ask their mums if they can come to play at home with dd. It does sound as though she's feeling a bit on her ownsome.