Please don't judge me for questioning if this action is appropriate. I appreciate that to some this will sound extreme, but there is a big story behind me wanting to do this, but I'll cut it short a much as I can, I really need advice as I can't talk to my family about it of friends.
My son is 6 months old, I will go back to work in April. My MIL has offered to retire and look after him 1 or 2 days while I am at work, she offered to do this while I was pregnant, obviously a huge help for me financially. However since he was born she has become increasingly jealous of me and my relationship with my son. To cut a very long story short, I'll just bullet point just some of the things she has done since he was born!
- Constantly referred to him as my SIL baby, who can't have kids and lost her baby last year. For example: 'Do you want to hold your baby'...'your baby is crying' 'here you go, here's your baby for a bit '. I found this beyond strange, not an expression of speech in my books, and completely inappropriate given the circumstances. I felt she did this deliberately, why else would she say it. My partner had to tell her to stop doing this because of how much she said it.
- Making a point of repeatedly each time we see her to refer to my son as 'nannys boy' you're a 'nannys boy'. Or if my son smiled at ME, she'd say, 'you're a mommies boy, but you're going to be a nannys boy when she goes back to work'. Literally each time we saw her she'd say 'nannys boy' about 5-10 times during the time we were there. Why?!?!
- She loves to say 'oh he's a Blackburn through and through....definitely a Blackburn 100%'. (Blackburn being the surname). Because God forbid he is any part of me and my family!!
- She's got her own nursery for him. A cot, toy box, books, wallpaper, baby curtains. The cot was set up when he was 7 weeks old which wasn't nessecary. I find it a bit over the top.
- Since he was 8 weeks she started to question WHY he hasn't had a bit of chocolate to suck on, I told her he was way too young and that I don't want him having chocolate. She genuinely didn't understand me and would say how her kids loved it and it wouldn't harm. From that moment on she made it her absolute mission to mention chocolate EVERY single time we saw her. She'd say things like, 'nanny want to give you chocolate...why won't mommy let you have some'. She would ask have I given him any yet and if not why, when etc. When he started to be weaned at 4 months she stepped it up a notch. She'd tell me that it won't kill him, and she will be giving him lots of chocolate and coke when I go back to work. Then one day when he was 5 months old she said 'oh sod it I'm giving him a piece, it won't kill him!' Well it all kicked off because she just didn't respect my wishes. She said that she wouldn't stop talking about it either, her response was so immature and it took a week for me to get an apology. When she did apologise I said I felt like she acted this way partly to piss me off and she agreed that was true. What the hell?!
I've told my partner I don't want her looking after him, he obviously got upset and says she's apologised about the food thing and u should get over it. But as per reasons above its not just the food thing, to me this woman is strange, there's an issue somewhere and i don't trust her. I think she will manipulate my child as she grows up whilst he's in her care. She may have him in a few weeks while I go on a spa day, well she's offered to. I want to record her, in hope I might get something that proves she's got an issue.