Leaving 9 year old with disabled grandmother

[Zayna99]

Would you consider it safe to leave your 9 year old daughter with her grandmother, who lives in the same house, when the grandmother is an 86 year old disabled lady who can barely fend for herself?

Thanks.

Depends on what the 9 year old girl is like and for how long.

The girl knows how to use a telephone and things, she's left a couple of nights a week and some days when she's off school and her mother has to work. I'm just trying to reassure my dp...

I personally think it's okay actually. I was left on my own a lot at that age.

Are you asking for yourself or talking about somebody else's decision?

What are your dp's objections?

I'm sorry, I don't. I wouldn't leave mine.

My dp doesn't think that the grandmother is fit and well enough to take care of the child, and also putting the boot on the other foot, the child shouldn't have to cope with grandma if there is an emergency.

I think he's right, on both counts. My Mum has a heart condition and when she lived alone I wouldn't let my DD stay overnight in case anything happened. Sounds awful but that would stay with her forever.

But what sort of care is she giving the 9 year old? I would guess they are more company for each other with perhaps some care being given to the grandmother. I dont rate that as a big deal especially if it means her mum can go to work. It's not that unusual for children to help care for relatives and if you consider it worldwide then pretty common.

Depends on the circumstances and the people involved, but I probably wouldn't see anything wrong with it, assuming the 9yo felt comfortable with the situation. A 9yo doesn't need much actual hands-on care, more supervision and company and it's good to have that kind of cross-generational contact on a regular basis. Being disabled doesn't render you incapable of being responsible for a child.