if you don't ever do any sleep training what happens?

[blushingmare]

Going through a bit of a bad patch with DS' sleep and pondering the dreaded sleep training. I felt forced into it with DD as was pregnant and under pressure to get her bedtime better with the imminent arrival of a newborn. But just wondered, if you've had a child who needs your presence to sleep - at bedtime and during the night - if you haven't done any sleep training at all then what has happened by the time they're 3 or 4?

I'm just wondering if encouraging them to sleep independently is easier once they can be bribed reasoned with.

I've never sleep trained any of my 3.
Ds is 7 and is a nightmare. I did all the "right" things with him, never fed him to sleep, he went into his cot awake but sleepy and I sat next to him until he drifted off. He's always had a brilliant bedtime routine he's just awful for taking forever to go to sleep. I put him to bed an hour ago and he's still messing about with lego now. He will get into bed and sleep eventually, and as long as he's in his bedroom being quiet the only person he's hurting is himself.
Dd1 is 4. She coslept from birth was breastfed on demand day and night until she was 28 months when I couldn't hack feeding her any more and weaned her completely. About 2 months after that she'd go to sleep by herself and sleep through the night. She is fantastic at going to sleep, she has a story, kiss and cuddle and as soon as I leave the room she's asleep.
Dd2 night weaned herself at 11 months and slept through. I still feed her to sleep but I'd imagine when she stops that last feed she'll be easy to get to sleep.
They all get there in the end, and if not they get old enough to be told to go to their room and be quiet.

I have a friend who still has to sit beside her dd for about an hour each night to help her get to sleep. Her dd is 12. It has caused big problems

I sleep trained mine when he was 9 months and up until then we'd been co-sleeping from when he'd been 4 months old.

I have no idea how some parents co-sleep for so long, by 9 months old my DS was a nightmare and me being present in the room/bed just made him even more reluctant to sleep.

Following the sleep training he was able to fall asleep in his cot by himself at night and during his daytime naps and was sleeping through the night.

Prior to doing the training my life was he'll due to DS's sleep and I think that if I hadn't have done it my mental health, my relationship with my DS and my marriage would all have broken down.

DD is 2.5. She rarely sleeps through and comes into our bed most nights. We have quite a steady bedtime routine but sit with her until she goes to sleep which usually only takes 20 minutes, but can sometimes take the whole sodding evening. Curses.

We never sleep trained. We thought DS never learn to sleep but he did. He was rocked to sleep till he was about 1, then just kind of figured it out himself. We found he started to resist being rocked so just put him in the cot and after a few rough nights he started to get himself off to sleep ok. We never coslept particularly, he just wouldn't sleep if he was in with us. He now goes down for 11.5 hours and naps 2 hours a day (he's 2.5), usually only wakes if ill. Is a depressingly early riser though