things that a 3 and 4 year old can do together without fighting

[mitsuko]

Hi
My two (boy and girl) have only 19 months between them, at just 3 and 4yrs old. There seems to be very little they can do together without squabbling, even when I'm there. Have tried dressing up clothes, which sometimes works because they favour different costumes (mainly Oxfam and my old stuff ) but other than that, it's a real pain. Even sitting together with me between them to listen to a story ends in squabbles. If they do colouring/craft stuff, I have to put them at opposite ends of the table but they are still drawn to each other like magnets. What do other people do? I know they have to learn to share, but for the sake of getting through the christmas holidays without me feeling like a bouncer rather than their mum, has anyone got any ideas for stuff where sharing isn't so much of an issue e.g. in the summer if I take them to the local sandpit they are much better, but ask them to kick a football between them and run will always run off with it...

mitsuko

oooh been there > there's 13.5 months between my older boys.

Take two footbalsl to the park (let them choose one each I found helped), buy two cake mixes and get them making one each, etc etc etc

I do find that active is best, trips to farms and the like always calmed them down- wrap up and winter is fine, ds2 had his 4th birthday at one.

The best thing ime was to let them develop different hobbies..... ds1 prefers model making and ds2 colouring, for example. That way I can keep things relatively balanced most of the time, but some fights are inevitable

Pick on another, smaller, child? Sorry, no use, probably?

theres 11 months between my eldest 2(they are both 8 atm)and tbh,if they are in the same room for longer than 5 minutes they will fight.all i do now is tell them to go and fight where i cant hear or see them

my 2 charges b5 and g4 (but last year were b4 and g3!) play really quite nicely togetehr most of the time....

they LOVE dressing up / role play / mums and dads / playing with small world toys like polly pocket /playmibile / colouring / drawing / board games (favourites are tummy ache and build a beetle) and doing jigsaw puzzels.... also lego and duplo

thye play very well together 95% of the time, and have done since they were 2 and 3

also in the rare event that my 2 dont share its fine... whatever it is goes on the fridge until tomorrow and no one has it!

also stop being a referree and see if they can sort it out amoungts themselves helps... its a useful and necessary skill to have!

sometimes i here my 2 argueing / debating things... but most of the time they sort it themselves if given half the chance...

also knowing that if they come whining to me.... or physiclaly fight over it the toy will go on the fridge (cuas enot playing nicely) and they will both be in time out, for any physical fighting!

also we have a lovely playroom adjacent to the kitchen with big glass doors... if i seee anyone snatch anything they have to give it back immediately!

fwiw,my eldest 2 get on really well together at school,they are in the same group for literacy and numeracy even though they are in different years and they work well together.they never fight in school...or when dp is looking after them.