Surreal moments after just having a baby

[TheOddity]

It can't just be me who had this please say it isn't as I already think I'm a bit nuts.

The next evening after I gave birth, I distinctly remember going to Asda to buy some medication for all my sore parts. I insisted on driving there alone while DH stayed with baby as I basically wanted to escape the baby hell hole for half an hour.

The whole Asda experience was as close as I've ever been to a 'trip'. I remember thinking how no one realised I'd given birth less than 24 hours before. Everyone was still just living their lives, being normal, coping. I felt so weird, I can't describe, it was like a psychedelic dream.

Did anyone else have this surreal feeling? Strange stuff you did immediately post birth?

My spinal wore off during my c section (that was fun, I tell you) and when I politely pointed it out they gave me a massive, massive dose of morphine. Then they pulled ds out.

Apparently I said to dh "why are there two of them?" He thought it was hilarious. I was desperately trying to stay awake because I was convinced I'd die if I passed out.

So that was fun.

I'm sure I can top you all on this one, having got full blown puerpal psychosis (post-birth-only bipolar). Thought John Cleese secretly ruled the UK. Heard cows mooing in the night, at busy London Hospital. Certain the apocalypse was on its way, & my son was the new Jesus. The full Stacey experience.

Lemur it must have been absolutely dreadful but imagining John Cleese secretly running the UK has just made me laugh out loud.

I had EMCS, lots of morphene. DD was about 3 weeks old when in my sleep I heard our front door open and heard an animal scamper up the stairs and into the bedroom. I was then paralysed with fear that whatever it was had take DD with it.

I woke dp up who just said 'Go to sleep you daft bugger', which of course I couldn't.

Also had the phantom crying. Normally if DD was asleep and I was doing something else - washing up or having a shower.

I've just remembered telling a friend about how if you wanted DS1 to go to sleep (still tiny baby), you had to put him in the cot, tiptoe to the door and then RUN away from the door as fast as you could once on the other side because otherwise he would hear me breathing and wake up and scream blue murder. I still remember how startled I was when she said 'Really? That sounds terribly paranoid', because for me it was utterly and completely what I believed at the time.

I was right dammit the boy's still got ears like a fucking bat

Security guard had been watching me. He came over with a wheelchair said 'alright queen' in the broadest scouse accent, hoiked me into the chair and took me back to the ward. I remember giggling all the way and telling him I would 'get right done' when the midwife knew where I had been. He rang the buzzer to get me in and told the midwife he had another bolter with no legs after a ciggie. Midwife was lovely and brought me tea and toast anyway.

^ That made me tear up! What a lovely security guard!

Mine were after having DC2 - thinking there was a cat stuck in our flat roof because I could hear a miaowing sound. I even rang someone about that

When DC was a few months old I was in a car park with the 2 DCs, just about to go into a shop. There was a fire engine parked there too but it seemed ENORMOUS, far too big to be normal. I couldn't process it, it felt really surreal and unsettling. I was quite scared. Then I realised that (we live quite near an airport) it was an airport fire engine. They ARE much bigger than normal ones. What it was doing in B&Q's car park I don't know. But until I worked out what it was I really thought my perception had somehow got completely skewed.

With DD1 - had an epidural and was left to sleep/progress on my own on a trolley bed in a deserted dark delivery room (middle of the night). I was so frightened but I dreamt/hallucinated that an angel came and wrapped his wings around me and told me not to fear and that everything would be ok. I call it a dream/hallucination now but at the time (and for months afterwards) I swore I was awake when it happened and that it was real. NB I am not at all religious so no reason to believe in angels at that point.

After the birth I was moved to a private 2nd floor room with large sliding windows. I was terrified I would sleepwalk and throw my baby out of the window. I was SO hot but didn't dare open the windows or fall asleep just in case. That was the beginning of extreme paranoia and anxiety that lasted about 6 months after birth. I never told anyone though, and suffered in silence until I eventually went to GP as my hands were completely cracked and bleeding from washing them constantly. They were agony but actually the only "visible" sign of what was really going on in my head. I feel really sad now that I wasted all those precious early months of DD1's life and that no one picked up that there was anything wrong

I can also remember shortly after the birth telling my mum how sad I was that my baby was "no longer part of me". And remember mum's reaction very clearly.

I now have 4 children and no other really strange events. Although, when DD2 was born I can remember calling her "my little boy" in my head whenever I held her/fed her for about 24 hours after the birth, even though I obviously knew she was a girl, she just felt like a boy??!!

Oh we had allll the hallucinations! My favourite was DH thinking we had twins and were each holding one in bed. Our one baby was actually in his Moses basket...

I spent the night after my second CS composing the best post AIBU has ever seen. It was going to break MN posting records and vindicate me as a unanimous YANBU....sadly I couldn't remember it the next morning!