Developmental damage due to too much time on their smart phone

[Debsmumof3]

I am hoping this thread will alleviate my concerns. In the hairdressers the other day a met a lady who ran a preschool. I am a secondary teacher. We both have a teenagers.
Various things were discussed but the matter which worried me the most was what she said about the children coming to her. They lack basic communication skills. Increasingly can't sing nursery rhymes, count 123. Or attempt to use a pencil. Social skills and behaviour are increasingly challenging. And the reason she gave was the mums (and dads of course) spending time on their smartphones rather than interact with their child. I have witnessed mums ignoring kids in coffee shops when it's just the two of them. And once in Cildren's A&E a little girl (whose dad was comforting a poorly baby) decided she wanted to play with me. My son and I talked to her and showed her how the toys worked. Eventually my 9yo read to her. She was a delight and the dad kept smiling appreciatively. I had noticed in the corner a young women constantly on her mobile phone. I felt for her. Clearly her little one must be in cubicles, and for some reason she could be with them. Poor thing. The dad was called in the little girl said bye bye. Can you imagine after an hour of entertaining this delightful girl this woman stood up and called her. The child said no mummy I want to stay here. The woman then addressed me and said she's never been so good - well I couldn't help myself, I responded "perhaps if you gave her as much attention as you do your phone she would !!" She looked ashamed and left. Even my son commented. "I'm glad you don't spend 'that'much time on your phone mummy". Emphasis on 'that' meaning I was guilty of the same really.
To hear the new generation are going 'backwards' developmentally really concerns me. Please please, someone reassure me!

Just wanted to add that in today's society phones, computer and telly are the norm. It's not a bad thing you just need to be interactive with them too

Wow. Just wow. Aren't you just mother of the year OP

Here you go love, have a and pat yourself on the head.

She looked ashamed and left.

Well done, good result!

Maybe the lady was emailing on her phone for work or informing family of updates of why they were there, maybe she was desperately googling relating to baby's diagnosis or treatment, maybe she was completing the online grocery otherwise there wouldn't be food at home and they had been in A&E, maybe the baby's father was supposed to be looking after them both as she had been doing it for days /weeks on end and it was his shift and she needed a break.

Judging people from a snapshot isn't foolish, judging people from a snapshot in A&E which you would expect to be unusual and stressful is stupid.

She thanked you. You were man with no idea of the context of what was going on.

Omg I am so angry by your post.

You made someone in A&E with a sick child feel ashamed and awful. I think your behaviour is DISGUSTING! You should be ashamed and feel awful. I'm wondering why you have not added any comments... Maybe you see you were in the wrong

Wow. What a response. I am quite taken aback.
Firstly I want to say very very sincerely that I have and never will consider myself mum of the year. Quite the opposite actually. If you knew my story, you would not make that judgement of me. Which obviously leads me to secondly say 'sorry ' for doing the same to the A&E mum. I was indeed as guilty making a judgement without knowing her story. I feel suitably chastised. I asked for reassurance, that smartphones were NOT causing issues. And assuming you are mostly mums with small children I am pleased to hear most of you disagree with the preschool teacher.
As a new poster I am quite shocked at how nasty other mums got, especially making personal comments about my child who incidently in the A&E was 9 not 13.
I thought mumsnet is about supporting each other.

I'm not very supportive of judgemental folk. But I see you've realised you were completely out of order and apologised so that's something

In the "olden days" mums had to spend shot loads of time washing by hand and prepping food with no gadgets or help from dads and most had more children so I very much doubt they were spending loads of time teaching their kids nursery rhymes or counting. In my experience I think modern parents spend more "quality" time with pre-schoolers because they can and because families are smaller too.

You say
As a new poster I am quite shocked at how nasty other mums got, especially making personal comments about my child who incidently in the A&E was 9 not 13.
I thought mumsnet is about supporting each other.

Sooty hit wrong button

You said
**
As a new poster I am quite shocked at how nasty other mums got, especially making personal comments about my child who incidently in the A&E was 9 not 13.
I thought mumsnet is about supporting each other.

But your comments were very nasty of course people would be judging you. You showed no support just nastiness

Hopefully her child will grow up to be less rude, than you are, op

I'm sorry you actually just complained about being chastised by other mums when you were vile and judgemental to a mum with a child in a and e? Oh that's impressively rich

The old "you don't know my back story is a cop out.... If it affected your post then you should have put it

I was in a and e last night with my 5 week old and I was struck by how supportive all the parents were to each other and it really gave me hope for humanity

Thanks for reminding me there are still women who want to be sanctimonious and tear others down

Thank you Shakey.
I've joined mumsnet to offer and hopefully receive support advice and understanding. I am yet to find a thread that discusses the s&@t my family is dealing with. And with the reaction from this one I don't think I will. maybe it should be somemumsnet and those of us who are not perfect and make mistakes have to deal with troubles alone.

I wish I had some pearls to clutch.

Good teachers don't moan about parents to random people at the hairdresser.

Debs, unfortunately your original post did come across as terribly judgemental, and my initial thought upon reading it was similar to that of other posters on this thread.

That said, none of us is perfect and we're all guilty of being judgemental at some point. I'm sorry that you haven't found more help on MN with your problems - maybe you could re-post in case someone with good advice is on here today?

The reason people were nasty was because you were very rude to the lady. However you've apologised so fair enough.

The irony of banging on about getting "support" when you judged a complete stranger and made her feel awful! You make yourself look worse with every post.

And it's not MN's job to reassure you that parents the world over aren't ignoring their kids in favour of smart phones. There is no way this teacher could know how much time the parents spend on smartphones unless she spends her days off stalking parents.

Tbh I doubt this entire sorry actually happened. If it did, you're appalling, dressing up your "concern" to justify insulting parents who aren't as awesome as you are.