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Original poster

12 year olds drinking alcohol at parties?

14 replies

tigermoth · 17/12/2006 09:33

I took my sons to a friend's 10th birthday party at someone's house recently. As the host's family is a big one, there were lots of older teenagers (aged 14 - 17) around and in the early evening, adults turned up to watch the fireworks. So it was a mix of children and adults.

I know the family (arty and alternative)are laid back about their teenagers drinking lager at parties. As my nearly 13 year old son is an inbetween age, I told him he could have one bottle of lager but only when I arrived in the evening. He stuck to this so I was told by everyone. I still felt uneasy as I would never let him drink that amount at home. I saw the 10 and 11 year olds pinching bottles of lager and sharing them round, though the hosts did try and stop them - though did not stamp it out and get really cross IYSWIM.

I know another family (church going and quite strict with their sons) who also routinely let their 11 and 13 year old sons each drink a bottle of bacardi breezer with meals and at parties.

I still feel this is too much, too young. Am I out of touch?

OP posts:
Glassofwine · 17/12/2006 09:38

It sounds a lot to me, but then my oldest is only 7 so I don't know much about this age group. When I was a child my mum used to give us watered down wine with out Sunday roast the idea being that we wouldn't think that alcohol was something special. I don't think is particularly hurt both my brother and I are not particularly big drinkers.

BudaBauble · 17/12/2006 09:40

Isn't it illegal?

busybusymum · 17/12/2006 09:50

My DD(then aged 10) was given a sip of Vodka by an 18 yo at a party once. DH was there (I wasnt) but didnt know what had happened. I went mad esp. as she told everyone she got drunk on vodka!

I would not "allow" my kids to drink at a party at that age but know plenty that do!

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brimfull · 17/12/2006 10:04

not on imo,I would be annoyed aswell,but probably wouldn't mention to the hosts as I'm a chicken when it comes to things like that.
My 14(15 next week) yr old dd doesn't drink...yet,but I am fully aware that this os probably imminent.
I think 12 is way too young imo.

I disagree with the bacardi breezer things mso strong and don't taste alcoholic .Hate this alcopop trend.

juuule · 17/12/2006 10:13

No - not illegal on private premises for children over 5y.

wanderingstar · 17/12/2006 15:26

I sometimes let my 11.5 and 13 yo dss have 1cm yes 1cm of wine if they are eating with us late in the evening after their younger db and dsis are in bed. Wouldn't be happy about either of them drinking at a party without me there, but then I don't think they'd be there in the first place really.

jampots · 17/12/2006 15:57

dd went to a party of a lad in her class a couple of months ago - they are all 13/14. there was alcohol laid on for them including punch, bacardi breezers, lager, cider. I didnt know there would be so didnt do the alcohol talk with her. however, she is a sensible girl and didnt overstep the mark. since then though every party she's been to has involved alcohol. I trust her to be sensible and have advised her above all to avoid the punch at all costs.

however there are girls in her year who regularly drink and are off their face quite a bit.

hotpot · 17/12/2006 20:50

I think anything a parent "bans" or treats as something only adults do just makes it more appealing to children who want to be adults.

I was allowed to drink diluted wine from about 13 with my parents with a meal, it removed the stigma of alcohol and also allows you to try something in a safe enviroment instead of getting drunk on cider with friends. Peer pressure huge even on the most sensible.

It is a very difficult one, I think as I have 3 sons (very very young not even in school) I will probably allow them to drink from around 13 with us but larger never bicardi breezer it is like 1.5 units!!!!

7swansaswimmingup · 17/12/2006 20:54

ds is 12 and has a bottle of bacardi breezer xmas eve, most of which wont be drunk just like last year.....yes when he was 11

he also swigged a bit out of my lager bottle last night and said "mmmmm thats lovely" but he didnt realise i could see his grimaced face in the mirror

morningpaper · 17/12/2006 21:01

Personally I would NEVER EVER EVER encourage a child of mine to drink a Barcardi Breezer

It's like a Fruit Shoot with Vodka, ffs

But wine, beer etc - I think it is healthy to allow them some alcohol at a young age

suedonim · 17/12/2006 21:58

I'd be shocked at 12yo's drinking lager at a party tbh even though three of my children are grownup so I've learnt a bit about teens. I think a drop of wine with a family meal is a different scenario altogether, although I think even 12 is a bit young for that.

Original poster
tigermoth · 17/12/2006 22:59

Thanks for your thoughts. I think things get very difficult around christmas. I have just come back from another social gathering which we all attended as a family. Parents (PTA leader and school govenor) and people from church.

Towards the end, my oldest son joined the grown ups chatting at the kitchen table (as he was the oldest 'child' present). Ds is quite chunky for his age, so perhaps seems older than he is. In front of me the host poured him a big half glass of red wine.

Again I felt it was too much and have made ds drink lots of water when he came home.

I would never let ds hang out with unknown families who gave alcohol freely to their teenagers, but all the instances I have given are with friends who have known us as a family for several years - they never seemed to offer ds alcohol like this last year. Suddenly it seems the norm around here.

OP posts:
airy · 17/12/2006 23:07

I think I would let my dd drink a little at this age, as someone's already said, if you ban it it just makes it all the more desirable to them.
My parents were very laid back with alcohol with both me and my brother, we were allowed to drink at home with meals from a young age and if there were any gatherings from about 13 onwards, always supervised by parents obv and only wine or beer which tbh neither of us liked very much so we would drink a little just because we could and that was it! lol
The very first time I got 'drunk' I was at a wedding with my parents, my dad was buying me drinks. I was 15 and they both said they would much rather I did it with them around to keep an eye on me than out on a street corner where I could get into trouble. This worked for us, I was never one of those teenagers drinking on street corners because alcoholw asn't the big deal to me that it was to them and I didn't see the point.
I fully intent to do the same thing with my dd.

ClumsyPanda · 31/12/2017 10:08

Yes, I may only be 13, but we learnt this at school (in Australia) your parent has to give consent to the supplier of alcohol, if there's no consent, the kid can't drink alcohol (unless no one finds out ;) )

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