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Mil trying to feed 4 month old chocolate

60 replies

Willow123707 · 28/12/2015 08:39

You may have seen me pop up on here before with in law problems, but it's just one thing after another and nothing changes. Not sure how much more I can take.

Since my daughter was about 2 months old my mil kept asking me if I'd given her chocolate yet, just a bit to suck on as shed love it and she explained how her 2 kids did and it does no harm. Obviously I wouldn't give my 2 month old chocolate and I explained that we are a way off from giving her chocolate yet. But every week we see her she brings up, every week with out fail. Saying to my daughter, mommy won't let you have chocolate, you'd love a suck on a bit it won't harm etc...when you come to nannys house without mommy nanny will give you some, I've got a whole box of buttons ready ( which she has). My partners family are huge junk food eaters, not the healthiest of people. My partner told his mum that she's not to have chocolate but she still keeps going on about it.

So on Christmas Day at my house, she sat there with my SIL and said to me, next time my daughter goes to her house shes giving her chocolate, just a bit. I said no, shes only 4 months old. She replied 'yes I am'...and I said no you're not, then she smiled and walked away. Partner said nothing to her. I feel so undermined by her, who does she think she is? Is it me? If I was a crazy mom and didn't want my daughter eating sweets until she was 5, that's still MY decision that she should respect right, or am I being silly?

Well we are due to go to hers today, she'll be with her daughter again, my SIL and no doubt will want to show her 'power', and I reckon she will try and give my daughter some chocolate. How should I handle it? My gut feeling is to get my daughter and leave.

OP posts:
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OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer · 28/12/2015 15:16

As a PP said, the only thing you need to say now is that she's proven she can't be trusted and so you will have to keep your distance.

agreed it's not the chocolate, it's the control issue. If it wasn't chocolate, it'd be something else.

Fwiw my MIL, whom i love dearly, gives ours more sweet stuff than I like and won't stop despite me asking. But she will ease up to a certain point; enough that both of us are not entirely happy but the children aren't being given toooo much unhealthy stuff.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 28/12/2015 15:19

She's as thick as shit. Why would she keep on about it? What did she say when you said you're leaving?

Wobblystraddle · 28/12/2015 15:24

Naughty mummy? NAUGHTY FUCKING MUMMY?

I had this. I let it go. I still regret it.

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Bunbaker · 28/12/2015 15:26

How are some people so stupid?

Willow123707 · 28/12/2015 15:29

Shes worse than thick, useless fuck.

We had to stay for about an hour after it happened and she sat there with this angry look on her face, wouldn't say a thing. we were all going to the pub for a drink for an hour, but she wouldn't come. So SIL wouldn't come either. I feel a slight weight has been lifted I really do.

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M48294Y · 28/12/2015 15:31

She's not very intuitive is she? Do you often have to make allowances for her? It sounds as though she has special needs from the way you have described her.

Willow123707 · 28/12/2015 16:04

I've often wondered if she's got some issue. It's all about control anyway, my partner has finally realised and is questioning if we can trust her. After all these weeks he's finally seen it. So pleased.

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Blu · 28/12/2015 16:30

Good stuff, OP!
What did you say to her?

Although it is sad that people can't just behave and relax in a happy family. She should have known when to back off, she had plenty of warnings, and she could have been a much happier Nanna had she listened.

BingoBonkers · 28/12/2015 17:25

Well isn't she a delight?

I don't understand what she was expecting to gain out of giving your baby chocolate?

I'm glad you have her what for. Sounds like it's been a very long time coming. Hopefully this will be the end of her ridiculous campaign to give a small baby chocolate.

Mirrormirroronthewall1 · 28/12/2015 17:32

Doreen your comment has me in tears.

HermioneWeasley · 28/12/2015 19:14

She sounds thick as mince and thoroughly unpleasant.

M48294Y · 28/12/2015 19:20

Ok, I'll bite - what does Doreen's comment have you in tears Mirrormirror? Do you mean tears of laughter? I agree it was hilariously ott.

scarednoob · 28/12/2015 19:37

Oh my god. She sounds beyond horrific. What is her obsession with trying to get you to give in? Nasty controlling woman. So glad your OH backed you up. Now she can either accept it and see you all - or not.

DoreenLethal · 28/12/2015 19:53

I agree it was hilariously ott

Oh thank goodness...of course it was meant to be OTT.

Willow123707 · 28/12/2015 20:15

It was funny Doreen and exactly what I fantasise about doing as it goes, oops. Grin

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ffffffedup · 28/12/2015 21:46

If its 1 or 2 tiny buttons I'd let it go seriously what's the harm is it really worth all this stress over kids are spoilt by grandparents fact! If it's a whole bag then that's different but 1 or 2 buttons isn't worth the stress

Bunbaker · 28/12/2015 21:55

Are you serious ffffffedup? Hmm The baby is only 4 months old. Or are you the OP's MIL?

Ughnotagain · 28/12/2015 21:56

Doreen's comment might be ott but it might be needed in this case!

It definitely goes past her trying to give baby chocolate. If she gets her way with this "mummy won't let you but I will" rubbish then it'll never bloody end.

ffffffedup · 29/12/2015 06:09

Sorry missed the bit about baby being only 4mo I assumed baby was older my mistake Shock

Chottie · 29/12/2015 06:16

I agree with PPs and it is a control thing. Well done you for standing your ground. I can't believe your MiL's behaviour.

I am MiL too and I would never, ever give DGS anything to eat that DD and SiL did not want him to have. Infant feeding advice has changed since my DCs were babies.

Willow123707 · 29/12/2015 15:35

The thing that's now annoyed me is that she's not even apologised. Yesterday she made no effort to say that she might have gone too far or just to say she's sorry for undermining me for all these weeks, she just back chatted to me and then sat there in silence. Today we've heard nothing either, no text, no call, no facebook message. Nowt.

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sooperdooper · 29/12/2015 15:44

God she sounds a nightmare - whether it was chocolate or something else anyone who goes on and bloody about something so incessantly after being given an answer is dull and irritating!

Well done for sticking up for yourself - if she ever dares mention it again I'd go down the line of 'oh dear baby, is granny still going on about that, how dull and boring to keep repeating herself!'

tribpot · 29/12/2015 15:50

I liked Doreen's comment. It's what someone would do on a Latin American telenovela, although would probably cast a curse on the house as well just for good measure.

She isn't going to apologise (the MIL, not Doreen). She's going to try and psych you out with silence. As she sounds like a thoroughly negative influence on your life and your dd, I would just enjoy the silence.

abbsismyhero · 29/12/2015 15:58

my mil did this it was fucking hilarious when she gave him chocolate and he vomited everywhere stupid bitch he couldn't have milk due to an intolerance what the absolute fuck did she think was in DAIRY MILK BUTTONS

OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer · 29/12/2015 16:10

Today we've heard nothing either, no text, no call, no facebook message. Nowt.

Enjoy the peace while it lasts.

Maybe be ready for the flying monkeys coming in from all sides saying how upset and hurt she is, and how could you do this to her. Don't get drawn in, just state that you'd asked her not to give chocolate to a tiny baby who's only supposed to get milk and that she repeatedly tried to steamroller you both.

Is your DH a bit scared of her? she sounds slightly unhinged

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