Raising children without raising voices

[littleraysofsunshine]

How do you do this? Any tips?
Our ages are 5, 3.5 and almost 2.

We try to be as patient and calm as possible but in those moments where everyone needs their cup refilled so to speak its manic! Very high personalities and independent, forward and confident.

Rather than raise my voice I do low and threatening. Seems to work.

Sometimes I do teeth clenched hissing. I keep that for special occasions

I just feel myself using a really crappy tone because I end up repeating so many times.

Make sure you've got their full attention first, then you don't find yourself trying to compete with the hubbub. (I even find it helpful to do this when I'm trying to explain something to DH!)

If, for example, they've got a certain time left to play, then they need to tidy everything away, give them a 5 minute warning and explain what will need to be done, by whom (including you, if necessary, if that spurs them on), at the end of the 5 minutes. Let them have their 5 minutes, then you can set each one away on their tidy up task without having to explain yourself too much while they all whinge. They might still whinge, but you can calmly remind them that this should not be a surprise to them and that when the tidy up has been done they can have their tea/ go out in the car/ get bathed or whatever needs to come next.

If they're squabbling, get the one you want to talk to to come to you - again away from any hubbub.

Give this a go www.theorangerhino.com

I really do try not to raise my voice as I try to adhere to "be the adult you want them to become" so I try to be reasonable and respectful. Yelling is rarely the best way to make a point.

Exactly that. That's why I try several times to be calm first