In divorce and DD does not want to come home

[L0ren]

Going through a divorce.
DD says to Mum does not want to come home after visiting dad.
Why?

ask her?

I have asked - she won't say. DD is 3 yo
Asked if sad or angry. Read books - Living with mummy and living with daddy and 2 Homes with her. To encourage communication about feelings. Nothing yet.
When Dad arrives to pick her up. DD races to door and is very excited and happy. Says bye Mum and is off.

Many reasons it could be.

Mum is stressed over the whole issue and things are tense at home.
Dad only sees child in weekend and holidays and therefore spoils them in that time with trips out and gifts which Mum cannot do.
There are less rules and boundaries at Dads and therefore they can stay up till late or do more what they want and less or no chores.
Child gets on with Dad better.

Sorry x post that she is three. Some of my list still applies.

Thanks - probably right. Give more gifts and trips out than Dad though.

She'll still be adjusting most likely. Both my DC have gone through phases of preferring one parent, the other or neither at various times. Karen Woodall has some stories on her blog, search google for Karen Woodall Dandlebear.

To me it is obvious. She is three. She lives in the moment and doesn't want to leave daddy as she knows she won't see him until the next visit - I assume isn't the next day, every day. Whereas she sees mummy probably most days.

Thank you

Agree with vocational massively.

Although tbh with a three year old it might just be that Dad has chocolate chip ice cream and Mum doesn't...

It could be because she (quite rightly) takes you for granted.

Daddy has left her, but if she goes to live with him/he lets her stay, then it will mean he still loves her. It likely hasn't even entered her head that living with him would mean not seeing you as much.

And he will buy in her favourite foods, and let her stay up late, and eat inappropriate things for breakfast.

I'd liken it to the stage many babies go through when they suddenly seem clingy for the parent who goes out to work, and ignore the main caregiver.

for you going through this.