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I am at the end of my tether with 8yr old DS. I could do with advice on how to handle him

3 replies

santasaltire · 14/12/2006 17:25

I really am the end of my tether with DS1. He is 9 in March and has the temper and attitude of a teenager. I just don't know what to do, i find myself getting really really angry with him 90% of the time,a nd feel as though DH and I are always having a go at him. It's all because of the way he goes on though. He argues about everything i ask him to do. He whinges and moans about everything. He winds up my mindees to the point where they sometimes cry. He tried to push me off the computer chair one night because i wouldn't let him play on the PC, he throws things in temper - one night he swiped everything off the work surface in the kitchen in a temper about something. He also cries a lot , he got a carpet burn on his knee, caused by fighting with his brother, and screamed liek a banshee about it for an hour! A whole hour of him going on and on in very high decibels, and limping around saying he can't walk. he gets very nervous and says his tummy is sore, and he cries and carries on every morning, about school, once he gets there he is fine and the teachers says he is very good in class, does all his work and is very popular.
I really could do with soke help on dealing with though, I feel like a tightly wound elastic band at the minute

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bogwobbit · 14/12/2006 17:40

My son is 9 and he is just the same (apart from the carrying on about going to school) - I can't offer any advice but I look forward to seeing what other people suggest.
I feel pretty wound up by my ds's behaviour too btw so you have my sympathy.

ratclare · 14/12/2006 20:27

he sounds like my 12 year old, im afraid i have resorted to infantile behaviour to combat the feeling of anger , i say things like 'bovvered' and laugh when he has a hissy fit, he continues to behave like something demented but it doesnt seem to last as long and my guilt levels have plummeted ! I also pick up the phone to my best friend when he loses it and tell her what he is doing and she makes me laugh and then i find i can rationalise the situation and deal with it calmly.This is by no means expert advice but sometimes being able to laugh at their absurd behaviour makes you feel alot better ,you watch they will grow up to be perfectly reasonable adults who will also go through hell with theeir own darling children and oh how we will laugh ( secretly behind closed doors of course)

squishy · 14/12/2006 20:48

It seems like he may be feeling insecure about something.....from what you say, the things he's doing are things that are fairly guaranteed to get attention even though it's negative....

Can you put in some really firm boundaries (with consequences) and also reinforce that you love him with hugs etc (even though you may not feel like it) and praise any good behaviour? Do you have any support in the house? You and your DH need to stick together.

I hope it gets better soon - the boundaries do make children feel very safe (if not in the very short term).

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