9 year old still sleeps with mum, is this normal?

[Zayna99]

Apologies, this is in another forum as well, didn't know which forum to put it in.

My DP is concerned that his dd sleeps in the same bed as her mother every night. He's tried everything to persuade her to use her own bed but her mother doesn't want her to.

It's not the child's fault. Her mother seems to be having the child in her bed for her own comfort.

I find it a bit creepy to be honest. I mean, there's nothing wrong with getting in for a cuddle now and then, but to have the child move into your bed permanently... well, I don't think it's right.

Mother has not found a new partner since my DP left her two years ago. She seems to be using the child for comfort.

What can my DP do? He does not want to upset his dd, he does everything he can to make her happy as he feels so guilty for leaving in the first place...

I am by myself
DS 4 1/2
DD 2 1/2

own beds

sometimes they come in to mine in early hours (6am)

ocassionally I have taken them into my bed when I have gone to bed

children want to be near their mothers
no problem in my opinion

my BF has a 9yr old DD and has custody
sometimes apparantely she sleeps in his bed

so what?
its comfort & closeness

thats all - no big deal

Difficult, as I would say if both Parys are happy it's perfectly fine, as, if anyhting, it's unatural for our children to NOT share a room/bed with anyone...afterall...we adults tend to seek company (with exceptions, of course) and I don't htink that seekign the company of a shared bed is necessarily a sexual thing, but a basic human need, which Kids in the western world are denied 9she says that bought a 4 bed room house so that each child can have their own bedroom, lol)!
I really think your partner should stop p[utting ideas in his childs head and see how she feels then! Only then will you know how she feels about it, really!

sorry about spelling...that was Parties, and seeking and whatever else I spelled wrong!

Just to scare you even more I shared my mum's bed till I was 18 and left home (dad worked nights). I just like having company in bed, I get lonely otherwise. I also used to suffer from terrible nightmares as a child and I think that's where it started.

When we lived in a shared house and dp was out, I'd share with one of my friends.

But I've been brought up to think it was normal to share beds. My dad always had to as a kid.

Funnily enough ds (2) prefers his own bed and sleeps better in it

If they're both happy with it then there shouldn't be a problem.

When I was a child I slept in my mums bed until I was 9. The reason was that we had only one bedroom so my mum, brother and I had to all sleep in the same bedroom. My brother had a single bed and I was in my mums bed with her.

When I was 9 we moved to a bigger house and I had my own room as did my brother. But I still liked to sleep in my mums bed with her for company sometimes.

nothing wrong with it in my eyes so long as the dd is not being forced into it.