stay at home parent = gets everything to do?

[Winstonsma]

totally happy* with my decision (nearly 5 years ago) to look after little one
and not return to work. Now have 3 little ones so life is busy.

it seems over time that not only is childcare, and meal provision, my area but now everything else in the world has crept into my job description, including (but not limited to):

gatekeeper of the fridge, and cupboards. DH will literally stand next to it and ask me whats in it

Maker of the dinner. No matter what (tummy bug, pregnancy sickness, my birthday - you name a date and i'll be cooking

Most of the cleaning, bins, maintenance

Buyer of all presents, even his relatives. near enough buy my own birthday gifts now

purchaser and writer of all cards

in charge of all child related decisions, even at weekends and all homework duty

cutter of nails, washer of hair, cleaner of teeth, administrator of calpol.

Head of vomit clean up

{always} designated driver

in charge of Christmas cheer (santa visits, where we go, what we do what we buy, elf on the shelf and advent calendar).

head of birthday parties

psychic visionary (who should apparently "just know" when he's about to run out of shaving cream, hair product or deodorant)

in charge of making all phonecalls, emails etc not related to OH job

now we are moving house I am sole co-ordinator, quote obtainer and liason for solicitors, estate agents, buyers, removal men, surveyors etc and sourcer of packing boxes - and supposed to be dismantling stuff now!

not quite sure how I let this happen :D I didn't mind/realise until he know comes in and is properly pissed off that the house isn't tidy... the little one is 4 months and the 2 year old is possessed!

anyone else?????????

*overall... on bad days I would skip back to my lovely job in a heartbeat! :D

Same here bigbuttons but if I did cohabit I sure as hell wouldn't do it all with another adult in the house.

I really think you need to talk to him. We don't go more than a couple of days without discussing how both if us are doing and sharing out jobs.

Sometimes it might not be obvious to one of us that the other one is struggling so we are rrally open about what we need. Tonight we were both feeling a bit rough and it was nice that we were both trying to make each task - cooking bathtime bedtime bins etc - easier for each other.

So I would say talk and keep on talking.

OP, it is more about attitude than anything else. 2 fathers in my family are both great at doing both childcare, driving and other stuff. One has an incredibly high-powered career helping to run the world and the other has a life-limiting illness.

Everyone can do something, you just have to want to.