breastfeeding drove me mad WHO got on my tits!!!!

[Suzy4321]

Long story short.... Was planning to breastfeed, it was drummed into me all through antenatal . Every class was the same boob is best!!! Great baby born. Very small could not latch on and could not suck! In hospital midwives kept insisting baby on boob it was awful she was screaming I was in tears and they kept on and on . In the end I asked for a pump. Begrudgingly they gave me one, baby couldn't suck from bottle so she was syringe fed. This went on for weeks. It was terrible and I was made to feel like I was doing something wrong. Then came the words World Health Organisation recommend this. Baby had sever lactose allergy and reflux you would think she was being fed acid. Doctor turned around and said formula. With zero not reduce lactose in it and she lapped it up. I am so angry with midwives not listening because WHO recommend boob. It's not always the case you can't feed baby this way and they make you feel awful for not doing so! Fuck of WHO!!!!!

Trial and error is all there is though. Formula which causes constipation in your baby may not have the same effect on mine.

Every formula company will tell your theirs is the best. But, most of the formulas out there are very similar anyway.

Hungry baby formula, second stage and toddler milks are marketing gimmicks.

*you, not your

The information is NOT all on the box. Or at least not the ones we can get where I am (Scandinavia). There is no recommended daily amounts for e.g. on the ones here. Just how many scoops to put into how much water (and the values they give don't even agree between the different forms they supply the powder from the same brand!).

I am very pro-breastfeeding, and breastfed as much as I could. But my baby was given formula too. I was admitted to hospital as an emergency. What was my DH meant to do while I was admitted and operated on? If only all the information was on the box.

They can't put a recommended daily amount because babies should be fed when they are hungry, not fed to a schedule.

The NHS has readily available guidance on how to make up bottles.

My HV gave advice on formula, bottles and teats.

Your title seems to blame WHO for stating facts - BFing is safer for the majority of babies and mothers around the world.

I'm sorry that you've had a tough time - many women do and IMO there's not enough support to breastfeed, just messages that make you feel guilty because it's better, but the facts are what they are and the NHS and WHO have a job to do.

My problem is WHO sets recommendations and the NHS will only comply with this ! WHO do a great job however. The lack of support seems to be a good cop out.

HV only ever says :- WHO recommendations are breastfeeding .... Formula is your choice. My mummas class has a number of mums saying the same thing. No support

Course every baby is different but it's a guessing game on how much to give and types, bottles, teates etc.

OP. It is just such an emotive topic. I also threw in the towel after 6 weeks and asked my HV about bottles to be told that she could not give me advice. I understand that they want to direct resources to BFing kind of but found it ignorant that she wouldn't enter into a conversation about it.

To be fair, I had also asked this same HV for advice on BFing. She glimpsed at DS when he was feeding and said that he seemed to be fine which didn't really answer any of my questions either.

I can honestly say that I'm happy I FF. BF made me unhappy - DS didn't want to be held my be. If he was near me, he was wanting to feed or was being fed. He didn't sleep. I couldn't nip to the shop on my own for 10 minutes. By switching, I felt happy to leave the house and my mood lifted instantly. He went to bed at 7 and had a feed at 11 and 3 - no more being up all night.

Try to not feel guilty - you honestly can't tell which kids have been BF or FF when they're at school. The difference it makes is so minimal it's unnoticeable.

The instructions, bottles and feeding amounts are not on the boxes! It's guess work most of the time.

Really? . I thought they had very specific instructions how much powder to how much hot water & how the water & how recently the bottle had to be made up.

Some bottles and teats are better than others, some formulas are thicker than others.

I thought the formula ingredients & nutritional content were quite strictly regulated. So most of the difference is just marketing. But fair enough, some may be better for some babies. There's a bit of variety so that people can find what suits their baby best.

I've got a box in front of me, it says how to prep,and a guide to how much by age and weight. They all do.
They are all the same, other than specific formulas for particular needs. Bottles, teats....all much the same, its just marketing.

I agree with you, op and I'm sorry you and your baby went through such a hard time. You're very right, you should have been given much more support and less criticism.

The WHO recommendations are 100% correct and they also strongly recommend adequate support is given to new mums battling with ff or with feeding in general.

I think the WHO guidelines are really more to make HCP and people in general, more aware of why bfing is beneficial. For instance, there is a great deal of evidence that shows not breastfeeding is a risk factor in getting breast cancer. A fact which is largely ignored or refuted.

I warned you OP - this is one where one side of the argument never listens to the other

There are no sides unless the OP and those like her make them. She's mad at the WHO, ffs, for stating facts. I've BF and FF, nobody actually cares what you do. It's just a simple fact that you don't need the same support and advice for FF that you do for BF, its much easier to do. It's like asking why no-one gets 20 lessons to ride a bike when you do to ride a car: you don't need them.

Miaowthecat . I couldn't agree more.

And secondviola you seem to be under a strange illusion that I'm bashing breast feeding. I'm NOT !! Each formular is different! Each teate is different it's not marketing they are for different formulas (Thicker and thinner) different ages and for different babies. I had no idea how much to give or how often! No one was available to ask.

And just because you keep wanting to ram it down our throat that your nipples bled well all I can say is weren't you lucky ! I never got that opportunity. But I was made to feel a failur!

And in your comment that we (formula babies ) are the majority WRONG 87% try breast feeding from start 33% stop as unable to do so successfully !!

You seem very defensive. I have a suspicion that what you may have interpreted as 'ramming it down your throat' is actually just healthcare professionals giving parents the scientific facts, as it is in their job description to do so and they are simply not allowed not to.
Breastfeeding is very physically and mentally difficult. While bottle feeding isn't (sorry)
It's great that in this day and age formula milk is such a safe alternative to breastmilk and that all mothers have a choice whether or not to breastfeed.

Yes weebestie I am defensive as I keep saying it was rammed down our throats at 6 ante natal classes and every single midwife and health visitor I have seen.

You are dismissed if you can't breastfeed. You are told by midwives and health visitors that they can't comment as WHO only recommends breastfeeding. When you have a newborn baby unable to feed at 2 days old and told your doing it wrong and only when a dietician paediatrician looks at her and says oh she can't suckle . Of course I am defensive . It's unfair there is no support you are dismissed . It's wrong. You are then critisied at every visit and class . It's very disheartening.

I'm sorry you've had such a rotten time but What is it you would like? A total change in the way infant feeding is promoted? Formula feeding is fine, and I hope your baby is thriving now. But it seems that you would have liked to have successfully breastfed and are disappointed that you were unable to. Presumably you appreciated the support you were offered when trying to establish breastfeeding?
Breastmilk is still best for most babies, and, while both formula and breastmilk produce healthy happy babies, breastmilk is the healthier option, and should be promoted by the health service. Same as the nhs promote healthy diets, exercise, not smoking, etc.

Also, where I live all pregnant women are asked how they intend to feed their baby and offered either an individual breastfeeding demonstration or an individual session on how to safely prepare formula. The book we received at antenatal classes mostly promoted breastfeeding but contained a chapter on how to prepare bottles.

Unfortunately it's the law because breast is best in most cases, hcp are not allowed to run classes on formula. If a mother asks that's different.

And to the person who said that formula is not poison well that is not true for babies with cows milk protein intolerance or lactose intolerance. You can't just pop down Tesco to buy the formula your baby will need, it's on prescription and costs an eye watering amount of money. That is another reason why the NHS will be keen for babies to be breastfed I'm sure.

Just like the toilet training discussion yesterday it always turns into a bun fight.

We need to respect and support each other.

Weebestie

I would of loved to breast feed. But ....

Presumably you appreciated the support you were offered when trying to establish breastfeeding?

This is the thing I was in hospital for five days. And I was made to feel that I was doing it wrong. One midwife actually said I was doing it wrong. And told me off when I asked for a pump. After doctor 2 days later said baby too small to suckle even then the midwives were telling me that I should not listen to doctor "she doesn't know what she is talking about and persist". It was disgusting. Afterwards at home I asked midwife what formular should I be using and she told me that "she couldn't comment as WHO recommend boob".

There needs to be support and at least understanding that sometimes it doesn't work. And if a new mum is asking for help. Then help. Don't dismiss them.

At mummas meeting again you are really frowned upon. It's unfair. So yes maybe there needs to be a change . Promote breast but support mothers that formular feed! They need help as well

breastfeeding is relatively uncommon where I live and even more so Because I am a young parent. It's been my personal experience so far that most midwives/hvs have assumed I formula feed when giving any advice. For example, I had a query about sleep and the first question was "how many oz does he take overnight" and "are you using first stage milk?" Similarly with a gp who was clueless as to what to prescribe to a breastfeeding mother. I guess our experiences have just been different but I felt that bottle feeding and Breastfeeding have been supported equally by all professionals I've come across so far.

I need to move in Essex and it's terrible

Op I'm sorry you've had such a awful experience.
I desperately wanted to bf my dd but I had slow flow, she couldn't latch, and she just didn't understand go to suck. It was incredibly challenging. After one week she was weighed and had lost 10.7% of her birth weight. I was told if I didn't start feeding her properly then she was going to refer me to social services for neglect. It was awful. Every time I tried to feed afterwards I felt like a bigger failure when it wouldn't work. I gave up trying after 2 weeks in the end and switched to formula, but the emotions I felt had already done their damage and I suffered PND for two and a half years. I contemplated suicide more than once. All of this from breastfeeding.
I'm now expecting again and won't be breastfeeding.

99... That's awful. I really feel for you. I must admit next time I won't even bother with trying to breast feed. But my attitude will be different with the midwives etc.

I hope you have a better experience this time round

99.... This is why I'm so angry and think lack of support. Rather than social services threats. A supportive midwife would be more useful and not make you feel like you have failed .

Yes - the feelings of failure are a mental health issue. The depression I had, the worry, the wedge it drove between DH and I - all because DD had an undiagnosed tongue tie, failure to thrive and was hospitalised.

Not once, out of the over 40 NHS HCPs and breastfeeding supporters I saw, did anyone look at me and say, "You know what, for this Mother's mental health it would be better if she formula fed." Just constant expressing, different timetables, different latching techniques, inconsistent advice and guilt, guilt, guilt.

I am now pregnant for the second time. DD is four. I can barely talk about her early weeks without bursting into tears. The moment there are any issues with breastfeeding, I'm getting the formula out. I can't do that to myself again.

Failure to breastfeed should have a fucking huge red flag for PND that is waved in the faces of all HCPs. If it's a choice to formula feed, then it's fair enough, but the number of women who feed their baby and feel horrendous about it, is a significant issue.