Fed up of my toddler.. sorry, a bit long.

[cholas]

I´m feeling bad as I am quite FED UP of my toddler. For a while now she has been refusing to settle down to sleep without a big fight, is often up from around 5 in the morning (in good spirits but tired by 7.30) and refusing to eat at mealtimes. I´ve been keeping her in her normal routine (naps only after lunch), no proper meals outside of mealtimes but this hasn´t helped. She is often completely overexcited and although she is probably eating enough I do think that if she ate more she might sleep better. What can I do? I´m a SAHM and would rather be anywhere else at the moment.

How old is she?

Give her snacks - rice cakes, raisins, toasties, apples, bananas - forget mealtimes if it's a stress. As long as she's not loosing weight don't worry (though don't forget they do slim down at this age anyway)

Maybe let her dictate the routine - see what happens. A new routine might emerge.

I would go with the flow a bit. No point trying to stick with too rigid a routine if its not working for her.

Are you getting out and about enough for you both? More fresh air, more exercise, more socialising might make it all more bearable for you until she settles down a bit?

She´s 2.5.. I give her snacks but not a meal when she asks for it 15 minutes after I´ve tidied away.. (she does the same when we eat out as well - refuses almost everything until we leave the cafe).

REally interesting idea to see if she would dictate a new routine but I don´t think this is what she needs. She is tired before bedtimes, maybe even overtired - I put her to bed early today and had no problems getting her off to sleep but know that she will be up at 5 again in the morning. I´m a nervous wreck through lack of sleep and dealing with her moods..

mine has just turned 2 and has been doing this for a few months as well - the sleeping is really annoying me as I'm pregnant and knackered. I'm trying to treat it as a phase and also not feel too bad leaving her to cry a bit at bedtime because I can't think of any other way to get her to go to sleep. (ditto when she wakes up screaming her head off at 3am). She won't nap in the day either but she does sleep quite a long time at night (usually)
I do think it seems to be a normal phase at this age but it is VERY irritating. am also trying to start each day happily and anew with no bad feelings held over from the day/night before. And we're sticking to snacks rather than attempting 3 big meals because that just isn't happening.

I could have written word for word what you have said about our 3.5 year old. I know for a fact that the lack of sleep he gets alters his mood and refusing meals is his way of being in control. We cut out snacks completely and kept drinks to water and not juice which helped a bit.
Sounds if you did the right thing putting her to bed earlier - her mood might be better tomorrow even if she is up at 5.00 (as we will be also!)
I have to go to bed early just to keep up but it's pretty depressing on a regular basis isn't it?

Would she be able to uderstand something along the lines of "You don't get up in the morning until Mummy comes to get you"?

In our house we have a 7 o'clock rule - my dd (who was getting up ridiculously early as a toddler) has a digital clock in her room and she knows she must not get out of bed until it turns 7. To start with we had to say to her quite a few days, no, it's not 7 yet, and just put her back to bed, but it was well worth persevering with. Our ds (nearly 3) always waits for dd to come and get him up in the morning. So this 7 o'clock thing keeps us all sane and means that we are likely to get a good night's sleep.

As for food...try not to worry! Keep giving your dd healthy, varied, interesting food and she will eat enough, honest! We saw a paeds dietician last week for my dd (with lots of food allergies) and I was asking about portion sizes for 4 yos and the dietician just said "Feed her to her appetite" as long as the food ou offer is healthy and good. So many toddlers go through funny food phases and I think the most important thing is to stay consistent through it and be flexible where you can whilst still making sure that you offer food that is balanced blah blah blah! (iyswim!!!)

Food and sleep can be some of the biggest headaches with toddlers. It is worth trying to sort out proper solutions that suit you and your family, esp. as this is a time when you're building the foundation for how your family is going to be. Try not to get stressed, give her loads of cuddles, pick the brains of other friends with dcs and once you hit on an answer, do be consistent and stick with it.

Sorry if this has been a bit preachy. Good luck!

Thanks for making me feel a bit better.. I think the problem re getting up early is about her being so excited and ready for the day. She can´t wait to play; I don´t have a chance of keeping her in bed and she won´t even ask for breakfast till a reasonable hour so it´s not that she´s hungry..

The food is maybe also a control thing but I´m not sure. She loves her food as a general rule, it´s just the TIMING that is a problem. She doesn´t want to eat when it´s put in front of her even if it´s what she´s been asking for or her favourite food.

Another problem is that when she DOES eat, she takes about an HOUR over it. ISn´t this excessively long? So on the whole food plays too big a part in our life. Does this give any other clues to what is wrong? Thanks for all your input so far!!!!

could it be the time of the meals - is she tired at mealtime? or could you try smaller portions so they don't look too overwhelming?

Things better today, thank God. I hope yours has been good today too Lisa!