why I think it's a great idea to take your children shopping ( sometimes)

[tigermoth]

I have been reading the messages on a recent thread about the hell of taking children shopping. I was surprised by the passionate anti shopping responses tbh.

So I am putting forward a case for taking your children food and any other sort of shopping - sometimes. This applies to children past pushchair stage btw.

I think if you actually like going into real life shops (as I do) and have limited time away from the children (as I do) to organise your life so you rarely shop with your children is asking too much of yourself. I am unwilling to ignore my shopping inclinations for the 10 or more years before my children are teenagers and off doing their own thing. I do lots for them, support their interests - they can support mine at times as well.

I can find it stressful to take my children supermarket shopping but also know how much both sons like going (not all the time, granted!). My sons aged 7 and 12 are very interested in food, and really want a big say in what food we buy as a family. This is not always a good thing as their taste tends towards expensive processed food. However, in taking them round the food aisles we have lots of conversations/arguments over what is and isn't healthy and good value for money. I think they learn quite a lot from this, not least how much 'raw' food costs compared to food they get in cafes.

I cannot say this is true for my sons, but for me as a child, I have vivid memories of my mother taking me shopping - the Elizabeth Arden cosmetic counters, the choosing of leather gloves and fabrics from the posh department store, the fish tank in the middle of the shop floor in the old fashioned Sainsburys. I know at times I was bored and played up, but for me, the experience of these shopping trips really added to my knowledge of the grown up world. I have strong visual memories of the fashions of the time - partly as a result of my mother taking me into clothes shops - and I think this has influenced me a lot. As an adult, I have always had an interest in buying and selling vintage stuff and find I can date things quite accurately from memory - especially in the late sixties and early seventies when I was an older child and young teenager.

I don't know whether my sons as adults will have this same interest (though ds1 is very into collecting new toys which he then saves in their original wrapping and stores in the loft). IMO shopping is a fantastic way of building up visual memories of a certain era. I think these memories can re surface in all sorts of positive ways in adulthood.

Ok I have said my piece!

I agree, tigermoth. I tend to avoid supermarkets and go to the smaller local shops. My children have learned all sorts of fascinating things - how much various things cost, what different vegetables look like uncooked, and how to recognise various packets of herbs labelled in Polish . The shopkeepers know them, and they are often given little treats.

I don't share your enthusiasm for clothes shopping though ; I'm just hoping not to pass on my violent aversion...

Oh, and they're quite useful at going and finding things, too!

My kids love the supermarket - they choose the bread & veg, decide on yogurts, cheese. It's a great place to go with them.

Here we have self scanning so I blip each item as we go along, then just hand the recipt over to the cashier - cuts down on the queues.

'cos they can be trained to shoplift for you?

I take my kids if we only have a few things to buy - I can't do the full weekly shop with them in tow - they get too bored.

We often all go shpooing as a family in town at eh weekend though - and stop for lunch in Wagamams or Bella Italia ( all part of the civilising process IMHO)

I agree TM.
There is a world of difference between the hell that is supermarket shopping and this sort of thing.

I do find my sons (especially the oldest) really do get into supermarket shopping in a big way. Doing the weekly shop with them on tow is horribly stressful at times but about once a month I take them with me as I sometimes do the shop while we are out and about, going to or from some another activity we are doing. The youngest professes not to like it, but as soon as we are in the supermarket seems to get into it. I have never actually felt the urge to do food shopping online. It would feel too lonely and unconnected for me.

I take my DS sometimes - he's 5. Easier with one I suppose and he is generally good.

In fact we are off to Ikea this morning - he's not going to school today as they have swimming this mornign and he is totally stressed by it.

Well my two are 15 months old and 2.10 years old - so probably aren't as lippy as older kids but are more prone to tantrums and 'I need a wee wee mommy' as you stand in the checkout queue.

But for the most part, I enjoy shopping with them. The older one has recently decided that he doesn't want to go in the trolley anymore so he helps push the trolley. It's his treat and he knows that if he misbehaves he has to get back in. He LOVES going round each aisle saying: we need this mommy. Which we usually don't but he doesn't fight about it if I say no, he just says: ok mommy and moves onto the next aisle.

I use it as an educational experience for him, teaching him to find certain foods and he can now name a huge variety of things and actively find them for me.

Sure there are times that I want to lose my mind when they're both yelling but for the most part I enjoy it.

Clothes shopping is not an option with them at this point.

Well my two are 15 months old and 2.10 years old - so probably aren't as lippy as older kids but are more prone to tantrums and 'I need a wee wee mommy' as you stand in the checkout queue.

But for the most part, I enjoy shopping with them. The older one has recently decided that he doesn't want to go in the trolley anymore so he helps push the trolley. It's his treat and he knows that if he misbehaves he has to get back in. He LOVES going round each aisle saying: we need this mommy. Which we usually don't but he doesn't fight about it if I say no, he just says: ok mommy and moves onto the next aisle.

I use it as an educational experience for him, teaching him to find certain foods and he can now name a huge variety of things and actively find them for me.

Sure there are times that I want to lose my mind when they're both yelling but for the most part I enjoy it.

Clothes shopping is not an option with them at this point.

I also have fond memories of shopping with my mum - though in my case it was hanging around the clothes bit of Asda whilst she bought the groceries and then she would pick me up at the end.

I still like going shopping with my mum - she has real stamina (about the only area she does have any sort of stamina actually) and is brilliant for taking things back.

I like to take ds to shops where the shopkeepers know his name and have a wee chat to him. Our local post office is the best, he opened his own bank account there and gets occassional treats from the owner.

By the time he has children I bet there won't be any shops like that left.

Yes Threebob,experiences like that are very important.
You're dead right-in a few years noone will no anyone's name in commercial transactions of this sort.

Very sad.

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very interesting. I do think the sometimes in brackets is very important mind you. I take my children shopping occasionally but it can be a trial. I did something quite brave and on the first Saturday this month, I got DH to drop us at the station and I took the train into Leeds with a 5yo and a 2yo and a pushchair. The train was absolutely packed - to the point where I had to pass the pushchair over people's heads so it could be stowed on the overhead racks and then stand by the toilet with DS and DD. DS who couldn't see out started to feel sick but fortunately it was only a 15 min journey. Then we went shopping and it was so unbelievably busy. I took them to McDs because it was the only place I could literally get into and find a table - Pizza Hut, BHS cafe, Bella pasta all queueing out of the door. DS "I've been to McDonalds two times now". Then I took them to choose a Christmas outfit for DS and to choose a decoration for the tree each. And we went in the market to the stall that sells icing sugar cake decorations and they each chose one. The train back was much quieter. Overall the trip was a success but the worst bit was queueing for toilets. But it was very hard work. So I don't feel guilty about taking the day off work yesterday and having a solo trip to Meadowhall in the morning - was DS's play in the afternoon.

I have to say though that as a general rule my 5yo hates clothes shopping. But then is picky about what I buy him.

wrappingBOZZA, I used to do similar outings when my oldest ds was five or six and his younger brother was in the pushchair. It definitely was hard work, but as you say, not impossible - and actually quite enjoyable.

My oldest son had a love affair with Harrods when he was around 7 or 8 and his favourate treat was to be taken there for a look around at the slightly faded grandeur, talk to the sales assistants, go on the Egyptian escalators and have an ice cream sundae in the cafe. It was a treck to get him there from SE London, but we did it a few times (minus his toddler brother). I am sure Harrods will be vastly different in 30 years' time if it exists at all, so I hope it's a memory he will value.

Much as I can see the convenience of internet shopping, it does not build up memories in the same way.

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tbh besides anything else, when the weather is absolutely rotten and we have no money to bring dd anywhere that needs paying for the supermarket is about the only good run around outside the house she gets!

besides that though i think kids learn important life skills by participating in normal everyday activities like shopping. my two are almost 2 and 4 months and shopping with them is fine. dd already knows all about helping an loves firing stuff in the trolly for me. she's fabulous at staying close most of the time and knows not to pull stuff from the shelves or tantrum for things.

if i have to go into town on the bus she holds my hand the whole way round the shops while ds is in the buggy and is very good for her age.

and there is the other consideration of what the hell else would i do? i don't have anyone to leave them with, and i'm damned if i'd let dp do the weekly shop! it would be a disaster!

But you must be online, so why not do an online shop?

don't have a credit card.

besides can't afford to do the full weekly shop in tescos, get alot of stuff in aldi, and have to go to health shop for alot of dd's things (wheat intolerance)

DD likes the little shops - delis, grocers, haberdashers, butcher. Her particular favourite is a local hardware store where she can oggle the tiny trays of nails & plumbing fittings. (Strange girl)

I took ds1 to a cheese shop once. He was delighted to find a man who was as interested in cheese as he is, and who let him taste the many varieties n display.

he also enjoys shoe shopping, he likes to pull his shoes off and try on everything he comes across.

Ds is only 2 but actually likes to look at me trying on coats and stuff. He generally even has an opinion as to which one he likes

I'm sure that may change as he gets older but I almost bought a very unsuitable coat the other day because ds was grinning like a loon and saying 'Like it mummy, like it' as I twirled around in the coat asking for his opinion- sanity prevailed though.