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Parenting

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Original poster

6 year old DS keeps asking where babies come from. What should I tell him??

28 replies

Inquisitiveson · 02/12/2015 16:15

When I was young my mum and dad never bothered to have a chat with me about the birds and bees. I ended up having to find everything out on my own, after everyone else already knew. I feel like 6 is too young for him to be learning the exact details of conception though. Is it? What did you tell your DC when they started asking?

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SauvignonBlanche · 02/12/2015 16:19

The truth - why not?

bearleftmonkeyright · 02/12/2015 16:19

I used a book called where willy went. It's pretty frank but a good way of explaining it to kids. I think my youngests was 7 when I read it to him.

DamnCommandments · 02/12/2015 16:20

Tell him the truth! I told mine as soon as they asked - it was no big deal.

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Donge13 · 02/12/2015 16:21

Told mine the truth when they asked,it was just the easiest option

bearleftmonkeyright · 02/12/2015 16:22

BTW Where Willy Went is a available on You Tube if you want to see the content. But I would be truthful.

SauvignonBlanche · 02/12/2015 16:24

I wouldn't advise waiting until they start asking, just age appropriate snippets as part of normal conversation.

MrsBalustradeLanyard · 02/12/2015 16:24

I think the OP is more asking what kind of explanation did you give? Obviously the truth but how best to phrase it - am I right?

Watching as I have a 5 year old...so far I've told her that Daddy put a seed in my tummy, where there were eggs, and that made her. Think that's as far as we've got anyway!

Shaffron · 02/12/2015 19:49

I told dd (6) the truth (well to be honest I was telling ds who was 8 and she was there). It kind of went in stages. Sperm meets egg. Special cuddle etc. Then I was asked what sex meant and it felt right to explain exactly how sperm meets egg.

I think I phrased it 'the man's sperm reaches the woman's egg when he puts his penis into her vagina.' It sounded so cold and mechanical saying it though! They were equally amused and horrified but I tried to explain it was a fun and loving thing that adults, not children, do. We've drawn diagrams of wombs and ovaries too.

I think because I was told nothing as a child I vowed to be honest with mine. But it backfired when dd announced all this over dinner on a playdate at a friend's house. I wasn't sure if the mum disapproved or not.

Haffdonga · 02/12/2015 19:51

Why? Don't you know?

MrsBalustradeLanyard · 03/12/2015 13:20

Haff you're clearly not aware that this is a site where parents talk to each other, and look for support and advice. Stop being such a smugfaced arse. If you don't want to help go and find another thread!

No idea why people do that.

Shaffron · 03/12/2015 18:02

Not sure who Haff's post is aimed at?

MythicalKings · 03/12/2015 18:09

Just answer his questions honestly.

HermioneWeasley · 03/12/2015 18:11

Agree with others saying tell him the truth in an age appropriate way.

We have a copy of Claire Rayner's "body book" which is excellent, and explains this (and many other things about how your body works)

Auriga · 03/12/2015 18:16

I always told DD the truth, ie the literal answer to the question she was asking, in words that she knew. She forgot a few times and asked again. We used baby words ('willy' and 'fanny') until she was a bit older than six.

Jw35 · 03/12/2015 18:18

At 6 I was saying things like 'mummy and daddy have a special cuddle'. My dd was around 10 when she started asking properly by which time I gave her the answers to whatever she asked. I didn't elaborate just said 'do you have any other questions'? She's 12 now and knows about sex

SpanglesGalloway · 03/12/2015 18:20

I was always appreciative that my mum was honest from the outset. Starting with explanation of female and male anatomy and how they are made differently. I would say it started from being around 3 and then built on that. My nice and nephew have no clue and they are 5 and 7....imo I think BIL and SIL are making a challenge for themselves! Like others have said a book if you struggle to find the right words or just a factual chat

CorBlimeyTrousers · 03/12/2015 18:24

Our 5yo son hasn't asked yet. He did ask me about periods the other day and I said each month a woman's body prepares her womb to grow a baby and if there is no baby then the lining comes away as blood. He seemed pretty uninterested though.

I have read that a good starting point is to firstly ask what they think and then you can gauge their understanding and take it from there. That seems like a good idea.

We also have a baby who was conceived by donor egg IVF and plan to be open with them both about how he was conceived so, at the appropriate time, we will need to weave that in to our explanation too.

Felyne · 03/12/2015 18:25

I agree with Auriga. Just answer exactly what they ask, as they ask it. You don't need to deliver a full-on speech.
(My DD kept asking "but where was I before I got into your tummy?" and I had no answer beyond "you didn't exist yet". ... "but where was I?")

WorzelsCornyBrows · 03/12/2015 18:30

Honestly, I'd tell him the truth. It's not wrong or dirty, it's something that all people do, it's only inappropriate if you don't tell him in an age appropriate manner.

hes going to find out one day, better it be done in a healthy way, than letting him learn from the internet/friends at school.

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated · 03/12/2015 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Snossidge · 03/12/2015 18:35

My 5yo has known bits and pieces since he was about 3. He now knows what a penis and a vulva is, he knows women have a hole called a vagina, the daddy has a seed and the mummy has an egg and the seed goes in through the vagina and the baby comes out of the vagina. He hasn't yet asked exactly how the seed gets in there so the mechanics of sex have yet to come up

ShelaghTurner · 03/12/2015 18:43

I told my dd1 (7) the whole shebang about 6 months ago. She thought it was ridiculous, laughed etc and I said if she had any other questions that she could always come to me blah blah. I also gave her some books that I had bought in readiness; Mummy Laid an Egg and all that type of thing. All fine and dandy

Except she hasn't mentioned it since. Not once. Beginning to wonder if I dreamt telling her...

Moomazoo · 03/12/2015 19:34

We've been pretty honest ... DS 8 asked how they got out .... I explained mum pushed out of their womb and vagina .... He turned red and said oh okay !!!! No more questions... Any other awkward q's I'll just say vagina and I think I'll be ok!!!

NewLife4Me · 03/12/2015 19:41

I was always honest in a child appropriate way and when they get older giving them the full picture can be beneficial.

e.g My dd at nearly 12 is so put off having children (ever) because you have to have sex, that she is resisting all the usual girly stuff.

Boys, yuk no. Most of her friends are talking about boyfriends and experimenting with make up/ boyfriends etc.

TheLesserSpottedBee · 04/12/2015 13:11

I gave my children Mummy Laid an Egg book.

Ds2 is now 9 and still thinks some pages are hysterically funny. But he knows the facts. He didn't ask, Ds1 sort of did so I came onto MN for trusty advice from parents of older children.

Because we all know the facts, sometimes we just need help in phrasing something. I answer all questions honestly because I had a very religious Mother who told me nothing because she didn't know how to.

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