Parental Telepathy ...

[NotQuiteCockney]

This morning, DS1 (5) said to me "you know those two guys, one of them carries a rock". I drew a complete blank for a moment before realising, aha! He meant Asterix and Obelix!

I'm used to decoding descriptions like this from DH (and goodness knows he understands my "you know that guy with the thing" sort of talk way more than should be possible), but it feels new, doing it with DS1.

What moments of parental telepathy have you experienced lately?

I often get a "What's this Mum?" when I am two rooms away. Occasionally I get it right, but I have to confess, more often than not, I draw a complete blank - which isn't surprising really. And all 3 boys do it and seem surprised when I demand more information.

Anything involving ds2's speech at the moment! He's only 2.5 and has an impressive vocabulary and sentence structure - but is completely random and not terribly comprehensible - it's like his language ideas ran ahead of his ability to express them coherently.

So he'll say a sentence with barely any consonants and I'll work out that he's actually asking me if he can get the bee game out, or that he's looking for the tractor he saw about 3 months ago in the field.

Saying that there are still many many times when people look at me blankly wanting a translation and I haven't got a clue... so my telepathy often fails me...

who are you RubberDuck? .. you're obviously a name-changer but I'm not sure who and I'm too sore to work it out (red wine .. ow)

Yeah, I guess it's the same as toddler translation. My kids have always been reasonably clear speakers. Bit short on consonants, and long on swear words. "arse" means "horse". "sheet" means "sheep". "shit" means "ship". "ass" means "house". Oh, and "fok" is "fox".

DS2's only weird word is "lolo" for water. I tried to get him to say "water" this morning and he looked at me like I was mad.

I'm not revealing my old identity (but it's probably easy enough to work out, tbh) - I'm having a clean break for personal privacy reasons

(and for a "my old name was dull" reasons)

I know who you are ... G right?

mutters

do ducks mutter?

if they do does that make me right?

This duck does, especially when being non-committal

I'm not sure I'm so telepathic with my own dc but quite so with my own mother, we can converse for 10 mins only for my Dad to say 'what are you talking about'

I have the sort of telepathy that tells me when the silence in the living room has changed from quiet playing into furtive dismantling of the DVD player. I also seem to be able to sense when ds has woken up even when he's in another room, as dh puts it "I sense a disturbance in the Force"..!
Quite useful, especially in the night as I seem to wake up about 30 secs before ds and I "know" he is about to wake up so I pop into his room so that I can settle him before he wakes up completely.

Oh, yes, the difference between constructive quiet and evil sneaky quiet. I've heard that difference ...

I have a telepathic knowledge of what 'Nothing' means.

"Ds1 what are you doing?"

"Nothing"

"Okay"

or

"Ds1 what are you doing?"

"Nothing"

"Leave the toothpaste alone, pull up your trousers and comeout of the bathroom please!"