Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

DS doesnt want nappy changing or toilet - being so difficult

4 replies

Mumfun · 08/12/2006 21:21

Just not sure what to do with DS - he is so difficult.

He has just turned three. There are no development issues except maybe this! He never wants to use a potty or toilet. He has only ever sat on either for major bribery like being given a lollipop. He has never done either a wee or poo on one.

He wants to wear nappies but he does not want his nappies to be changed. Every nappy change is a fight to get him on the mat with lots of screaming throughout though he does lie there once there. (but I either have to carry him or majorly threaten him to get him there)

He wont tell me when he has done a poo and denies when asked. (He has gone thru phase of telling because he gets majorly praised but hes not telling at present) He has ended up at the doctors once due to terrible rash leading to infection so we tell him it is importamt that he tells us and is changed. He poos a lot maybe 3 or 4 times a day so that makes it even more difficult.

DD is 10 months and sits on potty and does wees and poos. She is so praised. He even praises her too!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But it seems to have little effect.

We have done sticker charts, offered different rewards including major bribery etc etc but it has little effect on him.

He is very strong minded and independent and he doesnt want to do it basically.

But it is making life very difficult for me.

Other threads have pointed out attention seeking and Im sure that there is a lot of this in his behaviour but dont know how to deal with it any better. He has to have his nappy changed and that is that. He is very happy with DD by the way - loves her so there isnt any unhappy relation ship there but of course her arrival has had effects on his life.

It has been pointed out to him strongly that if he would use the toilet he wouldnt have to have his nappy changed. But as per everything we have said to him he does nt care.

It is starting to spoil my previously very happy relationship with him so any help very appreciated

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
NannyL · 08/12/2006 21:53

if i were you just 'run out of nappies' and put him in real panst and get on with it!

( no disposable pull up things which are essentailyl nappies

if you go to asda and buy a multi pack of pants they arnt much more expensive per pair of pants to a large sizenappy anyway... so gross pooey ones can just go in the bin!

maybe father Xmas could buy him lots of pairs of pants!

just go for it and you will probably find it will just all click into place after a few days!

good luck!

Mumfun · 09/12/2006 16:26

Hi Thanks

Yes we did do that one morning but he just honestly pooed and weed as if he had a nappy on. He was put on the loo, and would come off and wee or poo within a minute of coming off. DH was in charge and got totally fed up and put him back in nappies. We bought cheapies and Postman Pat pants which he likes but doesnt want to wear if that makes sense.

Will try again one day but too busy at mo.

Hes a rascal!

OP posts:
nearlythree · 09/12/2006 22:15

I would forget the potty for both ds and dd - I expect that dd isn't really trained at 10 mo. You are right that there is attention seeking but I also suspect that seeing his baby sister apparently doing well at something that he struggles with is making your ds too afraid of failing to try.

My dd1 went through a phase of not putting her pyjamas on, so we invented 'pyjama racing', and sometimes we had to do 'nappy racing' too. Basically you do a commentary in a silly John Motson voice as you change ds' nappy. So you might say, 'Welcome to xxxx's changing mat fore the latest round of nappy racing. And xxxx is ready to go - he's out of his trousers, he's out of his trousers - his nappy is off!' and so on until you finish and say 'Yes, xxxx is the nappy changing champion!' You could give a sticker but tbh they didn't have any influence on our dd1.

Once the nappy changing is better and you have a clear run you can then try getting ds to sit on his potty morning and night before teeth brushing - this could be 'potty racing' if ds goes for that idea. Once that routine is settled then you can go for taking off the nappy. If he takes to the competition idea you could put something in his potty for him to try and pee on. Dd1 was three when she potty trained, and dd2 isn't yet at 2.5.

(I have three children under five and although my dds love each other and baby ds madly they still compete with each other for my attention!)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Mumfun · 10/12/2006 21:41

h

thanks really good ideas. will definitely try and good point about ds being afraid to try

just to be clear sorry dd is put on the potty as she loves it and it helps her a lot at the mo to have a nappyless bottom as much as poss as she has a skin infection in that area. she is no way trained or expected to be

thanks so much

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page