How much 'me time' do you get?

[lillylop]

Just wondered on average how much time u get to yourself on average. I have 2 dds, one is 6 who is physically disabled and has a rare metabolic disease and one who is 15 months. I also work 3 days. I feel like I'm chasing my tail most days! Normal?

I asked this question just to get an idea what's average as I just feel totally exhausted most of the time and it does seem that most other mums are the same. I don't think being constantly on duty makes u a good parent though, not for me anyway

For us we are better parents having some time without them for sure. It means we can switch off a few hours and be ourselves. It also means dh and I have some time together without them to spend time together.
Our children are only staying with either dh or I, a babysitter we have used since they were tiny so over 5 years, or grandparents. So everyone they know and love.

Oh and all grandparents are either 3 hrs drive or a flight away, hence they have them for a few days at a time when they do

Only one DC(20 months) at the moment (another on the way) and I do get some me time now.

I work 3 days a week Tuesday - Thursday and Fridays our parents take turns to visit and usually take him out for the morning or the day so I get either a morning or a day off most Fridays.

I'm currently sat with my feet up watching TV while DS zooms around with toy helicopters amusing himself. I'll also get an hour to myself when he naps.

He goes to bed at 7:30 every night so I get all evening to myself too. I don't feel I can complain really. Also, my DH will always be happy to stay home with him if I want to go to a social event and vice versa e.g tomorrow I'm meeting friends for a pub roast (that I actually get to enjoy the food and have proper adult conversations) and DH is staying home with DS.

OP your situation sounds really hard and I hope you have a supportive partner and family to share the load with. For myself I only work 3 days a week so during term times I have 2 days from 9am-3pm where the time is for me. I usually spend one of those days doing nothing and pottering about at home and one visiting my mum. I think it's very hard for parents with pre school children or children with disabilities or for those who work full time to get any sort of downtime. Hope fully it will be easier for you when both DC are at school?

Is there any way you can get a babysitter in once a week? Someone from eldest school
Maybe who knows how to care for her? If they came one evening a week they would only need to stay in the home with them both, and either put them to sleep or entertain them a bit. Even say 6-9pm Friday night for now and gradually increase it a bit longer as the months go on maybe

I've had a week of hellish wake ups all night, early starts and jabs for 1 pre-school and 1 toddler as DH had equally hellish work week and couldn't help.

I am, however, typing this in the bath having had a lie-in until 9am plus I had 2 evening well-being classes that I dragged my sorry arse too in the week.

I am really lucky and make sure I fully appreciate every minute of down time so I am making the most of it!

Should also add that I prioritised the bath above the squill ion and 1 non-emergency house work things that need doing.

That's important - if I didn't do that I wouldn't have any time at all.

Low standards is the secret!

I agree fusion, there is always something that "needs" doing in the house. I prioritize exercise above house hold dross, I run 3x a week (only half an hour a time) and like a long soak at the weekend. I think that's it really I wouldn't count the half an hour reading in bed before going to sleep really.

2 very small kids - each weekend I can leave dh in charge while I go for a 40 minute run followed by long soak in the bath. I also do a hobby one evening a week. That's about it

Surely you can't count when the kids are asleep in bed for the night as "me time"? You're still on duty. It's not as if you can choose to go out for the night and leave them in their beds.

To my mind, me time is not having to care for or think about responsibility for the kids at all because some other trusted care giver is doing that while you're doing an activity of your choice, which doesn't require keeping an ear out for the kids waking up crying.

I have a 2 year old and 4 month old and have a child attached to me from 5.30am until 9pm every day, then multiple night feeds. I'm hoping to get some 'me time' back one day.

I definitely do count the time after my DS goes to bed as me time because even before I had him it was rare that I'd go out in the evening!

Those 3 or so hours of peace in the evening are wonderful! I love cuddling up with my DH and watching a box set with a slab of chocolate!

If I wanted to go out in the evening I could - DH would have no bother with me going out on my own or if we wanted to get a sitter we could (we rarely do, we can't be arsed!)

Mrs mugoo, that kind of me time doesn't last long- they get older and are still downstairs at nearly 9pm (later at weekeds). I miss the evenings when mine were fast asleep for the night by 8pm. So enjoy it while it lasts!

Pretty much none. DD used to faithfully go to sleep from 7-7 every night and I could clean up and wash my hair. I can barely manage once a week now.

When I go back to work I'm going to look a right state

I've had my first hour to myself in the evening for ages tonight. Realised DD2 (5 months) was being totally distracted by TV/ us having dinner, so I fed her to sleep upstairs. Weirdly I now feel way more tired than I have done for some time (and that is quite something!). Upstairs again feeding now of course
I'm hoping that a time may come when we can leave them both with a babysitter. Pretty sure DD1 (21 months) could now be left with grandparents but no point at the mo with a breastfed baby.

I think "off duty" time is hard to come by, mine are 6 and 9yrs and even when they are bed i don't feel relaxed cause there are always potential interruptions. I have weds when they are at school and a Friday and Saturday morning. I Love this time, its been a long time coming as we have no family help or babysitters so up to the youngest going to school i didn't really have any me time. Older children definitely agree with my mental health!

I'm a SAHM to an 11 month old and also a 7 year old with SN who I home educate so DP makes sure he regularly gives me a break when he can. Sometimes I just go off to the bath with a magazine, or I go for a wander round the shops in peace. I also co sleep with baby who is fast asleep for the night by 8pm and I lay in bed with a box set for a couple of hours. I can't complain!

Possibly half an hour when/if dd naps ands I have nothing I need to do. But tbh I think I'm lucky, I only have 1 dd and she has no disabilities, I know it could be a lot worse. She is just a terrible sleeper.

I'm sure it's completely normal. Before I had DS I would get my nails done regularly, have a full face of makeup everyday and my house was spotless. Now I forget to wash my hair! DS (6 months) takes around 3 20 minute naps during the day which I use purely to take a breather and maybe cook some food and DP takes him for an hour at night so I can have a bath, do housework or whatever I need to do. It definitely came as a shock how much time it takes up.

Once kids are in bed, so, any time from 9pm (if I haven't conked out myself)!

Pretty much no me time at the moment. I can't remember the last time i had chance to go for a run.

It doesn't help that i'm self employed so any time not spent with the DC is working. Often till 11pm at night. Plus we're having trouble finding staff at the moment so it's up to me and DH to pick up the shortfall.

I hope it will improve when our youngest goes to high school next September though i suspect i may have to spend more time with my parents as my dad is getting increasingly fragile

dh and I take it in turns to give each other around 4-5hrs each week of running/yoga/cycling.

I usually do three short runs and a yoga class, sometimes a bike ride instead of a run or two. DH does one or two bike rides to a total of 4-5hrs.

we both go mad if we don't get any exercise.

Things reached crisis point for me earlier this year as I just felt like I was desperately unhappy, trapped and treading water.

I talked to my mum and she has basically stepped in and takes my daughter one afternoon during the week and sometimes a weekend afternoon which has allowed me time to fulfill something I've wanted since I was a child.

It works well for my marriage as my husband supports me 100% as he knows my mental health was suffering and in return he gets what he refers to as "maximum husband credit" so knows I am happy for him to do what he likes when he can. To be fair I always was but he likes the smugness!
I think not all mums have the support to achieve this though. I know how lucky I am.