Can therapy change your parenting?

[glowfrog]

Posted this on relationships but maybe this is a better place...

Hello all

I'm wondering whether to get some therapy to deal with my issues.

I have 3/nearly 4 year-old DD1 and a 7-month old DD2. I'm exhausted at the moment and pretty hormonal from breastfeeding BUT I don't think it completely explains or "excuses" my outbursts of anger towards my DD1.

It's not actually that I lose my temper but rather than I'm sometimes mean and petty when I do. I hate myself so much afterwards. I don't want to be like this. I remember my dad being like this sometimes - quite sarcastic towards me and my siblings - and I hated it. Whether it's nature or nurture, I want to be different.

Would therapy help? Has it helped anyone here?

I think it would definitely help. That's all really.

Yes!

I didn't find therapy helped but becomjng a teacher and learning about how to talk to children helped hugely. I read how to talk to children so they will listen or something and that helped. I think self awareness is half the battle tbh-now you need to develop an alternative response to your default one.

I sometimes hated the way I talked to DS1 after Ds2 was born. I remember how patient I was when I was getting enough sleep. Not any more!

A friend of mine went on a parenting course and was noticeably more patient with her DC afterwards. I was filled with admiration.

Therapy/courses/books can all change what you do if you embrace them, definitely.

Read! Look on amazon for some well rated parenting books. Reflection is key to changing.

Thanks, all. I'm reading an excellent book called Toddler Discipline Without Shame but I think I need something help to help with this side of me.

Being so frazzled doesn't help for sure - counting to 10 to calm down can't happen when I often find myself just going from 0 to Hulk-rage in an instant.

I'm trying to pre-empt situations that might trigger this response from and I think I need more of that. Even if it's just telling myself "she is tired and this is why she is doing xyz, what can we do to help her?"

Well a friend of mine who was severely physically abused by her mother found that therapy helped her a lot with being a mother. Her son is an adult now and an absolute dote