Does anyone else dupe their family into thinking they have the sh*ts?!

[NinjaMommy]

The bathroom is literally the only place I can be alone! So, unashamedly, I spend a lot of time in there! Usually sat on the closed lid(on MN!)
Inevitably one of them will shout me for something, so I just say something like 'I'm just in the loo, be out shortly... I hope!' That tends to buy me 10 mins or so.
Am I alone in this?
I've also been known to eat chocolate in the bathroom, too!

My husband hides in the bathroom!!
I don't get the chance :-(

I'm pretty sure DP is guilty of this as well...

Gosh no! We all need a break! Even if it is to eat some choc on the loo :)

Not my family, but I once faked the runs when I was on a 3rd date with a man who I thought wanted me to go home with him for casual sex and I wasn't interested (couldn't be bothered to go all the way to his), so I hid in the loo and loudly announced to the whole restaurant what the problem was, it worked, I recommend it.

My niece announced loudly, "my daddy's poos don't smell at all!"

Sure enough my brother confessed to me later on that he does exactly this - however kids clearly won't be fooled forever even if partners are, haha!

Have you seen "this is 40" where he does the same thing and his wife gets suspicious...

Sadly Dd is still adamant she joins me in the bathroom so no respite yet.

I don't do this, no.

DH does and it drives me up the bloody wall. It's completely unfair and of course, you can't argue with somebody's bodily functions, even when you know it's a sodding lie. It's interesting that if there's somewhere he wants to go or if something he's interested in happens while he's hiding in there, he is in and out within 5 minutes. If he fancies a break or doesn't want to help with something, he suddenly needs a 45 minute toilet visit.

I guess it's okay if it's just you and you need a break but when there's another adult in the house and they're doing all the hard work while you sit around knowing this, no, it's not okay.

PMSL @ "my daddy's poos don't smell at all!"

I sound unnecessarily shitty (pun absolutely intended ).

We all need a break and I absolutely think you should do what you need to in order to remain sane. You are a human being and sometimes you need space.

I shouldn't vent about my DH on your thread. He is otherwise, a lovely man and he will work very hard to ensure I get a break. It's one of the only things which really pisses me off about him. He grew up in a very busy house with many siblings and a lot going on. His family all do it. They use toilet time as relaxation time. It's a hard habit to break! I am happy to support him to have a break where he needs it. Locking himself in the toilet when we have to be out the door in half an hour and leaving the getting ready to me, is NOT okay.

Yeah! Anything for 5 mins peace sometimes! I only do it when I actually need the loo but il be up there for longer and say I had trouble