Can't cope with my toddler throwing food.

[Writerwannabe83]

I need some advice to deal with my son (20 months) who won't stop throwing his dinner on the floor because I'm about to crack up.

When he had his cereal in the morning he will cost his spoon in the cereal and then throw his spoon on the floor. He does this with every clean spoon I give him thereafter. He then picks up his bowl of cereal and throws that on the floor. I tell him off each time he does it, he knows he shouldn't do it, but it's like he enjoys just winding me up.

When it comes to his lunch (sandwiches with various different fruits) he barely eats any of it because piece by piece he just throws it on the floor. He will pick up one of his sandwiches, throw it and then laugh. He then picks up another sandwich, raises his arm, pauses whilst grinning at me, I firmly tell him no and he proceeds to throw it anyway. This lunch time had been his worst yet as all 8 of his sandwich fingers have been thrown. Sometimes he will throw them slowly and one at s time and other times he will scoop them all up in his hands and throw them all onto the floor in one go.

I tell him off, he can see I'm angry, but he just laughs the entire time.

So he basically doesn't have any lunch because even if I were to make him some more he then just throws that on the floor too.

He's currently sitting in his high chair with an empty tray, blowing raspberries sync laughing. I can't bring myself to look at him really because seeing him laughing about the whole thing just makes me feel angry.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Over the last few weeks it's been getting worse and worse and he knows exactly what he's doing. It like he's purposefully trying to upset and frustrate me

I just don't know what to do :o(

Oh gosh sounds stressful but I think you need to remember he really doesn't see it as naughty. He is playing a game...just take a deep breath and remember he won't still be doing it in a few months. He will outgrow it. He is just a baby he reallt isn't thinking about it like you are.

Writer I've had similar moments myself. Your ds will be fine and you really are being massively provoked (even though he's not meaning to, obviously!) so don't be too hard on yourself.

You might be doing this already but can you keep hold of his plate/bowl and give him a separate bowl, where you spoon a few bits in at a time? So he still feeds himself but has less to throw around when the mood takes him? It's laborious and annoying but one of the only things that worked for me.

Are you putting the full bowl/plate in front of him every time? If DD is in a throwing mood I'll give her a tiny little bit each time, so maybe one finger of sandwich, or a pre loaded spoon of porridge. That way only a bit gets chucked which is far less annoying.

I took your advice and tried the tactic of giving him little bits at a time.

He had 8 sandwich fingers (2 slices of bread used) and I gave them to him just a few at a time and he ate them really well. When it came to the last two he started playing about a little so I diverted his attention by giving him his banana, tomatoes, cucumber and cheese squares.

He ate all of those and then turned his attention back to his remaining two sandwich fingers. He picked one of them up, ripped it up in to little pieces and threw them all on the floor. I didn't get angry though because he was throwing them down to our cat for her to eat

Overall, a much more successful meal time

Sounds promising!

Reading this fills me with absolute dread. DS is only 3 months so we are a way off eating in a highchair. I just know i will really struggle if he chunks food everywhere and DH will probably have some sort of nervous breakdown!

I assume its bad to just feed them yourself?

Big plastic mat. Big bib and sit as far away as possible and ignore if you can. It does pass. Notta your DH is going to have to deal with a lot more than a bit of thrown food. Wait until potty training starts!

Ds2 went through a throwing phase. Not reacting is really hard!,We learnt to give him smaller portions (less ammunition!), to avoid even trying if he was tired, and yep, to not react if at all possible.
We also got a bowl from Mothercare which suctioned onto the high chair tray so he couldn't pick it up!

I don't know if any of this will help but my ds is 3.5 and has autism and has always been a bit like this! Things that have helped have been only putting a very small amount of milk in with cereal and letting him use his hands, putting a black bin bag spread out on the floor under the high chair / table so it can just be folded up afterwards and thrown away and not feeding so many messy foods - so toast instead of cereal and yoghurt in those pouches / tubes etc rather than a pot. As others have said throwing food is often sensory seeking so make sure you offer lots of messy play - indoor sand pit in a washing up bowl, play doh, water play in the sink, bowls of dried rice and lentils mixed together with hidden toys in it etc. Doing those things gives the same reward as playing with food and sometimes helps them to stop messing with the food.

As hard as it is just don't react at all. Let them throw / eat or whatever. Leave it all where it is until they've finished and tidy up and put alway. No reward good or bad etc etc.

I know this post is years old but I would love to know at what age the child grew out of throwing food everywhere. I feel like I could have written this post for my 22 month old. I’m struggling so much as I feel as though he doesn’t understand that what he’s doing is wrong 😢

I think this is a phase, but it sounds like this might be past the phase and your son is doing it to see your reaction if it makes him laugh (how I read your post). Try and give him lots of positive attention for good table manners and charting to him while he eats and ignore the throwing.

Attention while he isn't throwing, then when he does, immediately look away and five him no attention for 10 seconds or so, then clean up with no fuss. Once he learns it is boring, I think he would stop it, if he is doing it for a reaction. Good luck with it. Cleaning up food 3+ times a day can feel soul destroying!

I thought this was just normal development 🤷‍♀️ Ds is 18 months and he will throw his food on the floor if he’s done eating or if he’s not hungry.