I am horrible.

[imwithspud]

I just screamed at my 3yo dd. I was trying to empty the kitchen bin, which can be a pain sometimes because an air pocket forms under the bin bag causing it to stick. I needed space to sort it out so I told dd to go and play whilst I sorted it but she didn't listen and was getting under my feet. I'm already exhausted as I have a cold and she decided to wake up for 2hours during the night and I had to sit by her bedside in order for her to go to sleep so that didn't help matters.

I feel horrendous, I shouted so loud that I made her cry, I also picked her up and placed her on the sofa in an attempt to get her out of my way, the red most well and truly descended and how I feel like rubbish for it. I've apologised and cuddled her profusely and explained that mummy was naughty to shout like that and she didn't do anything wrong. She seems fine now but I hate when I lose it like that, usually happens when I'm tired and I'm trying to get something done. I hate myself when I do this.

You are not horrible, you are feeling crap and you reached the end of your tether. You have done the right thing by apologising and cuddling your daughter.

It does sound like this isn't the first time it has happened so perhaps you need to think if some strategies to try and avoid getting to that point again. Three years old is quite young to be told to just go and play, maybe try settling your daughter with an activity by playing with her for a few minutes and then explaining you have something to do and will be back soon. I know that it is not as easy as that, and three year old have a habit of being shadows at the most inconvenient times.

You are not horrible :) You're ill and tired and fed up and you lost your temper. Don't beat yourself up over it. Children are resilient and she knows you love her.

You are not horrible, you are human. You've apologised and cuddled her and you're posting here.

I am struggling myself atm; I've been stuck indoors with 2 poorly children and a poorly DH while I wasn't feeling so well myself. Now DH and I and 2 of our DC are much better just in time for our eldest to come down with the bug. I have shouted today myself because I am at the end of my tether and desperately want to be allowed to do something without a dc hanging off my legs.

One practical suggestion: when you're changing the kitchen bins, are there any little jobs she can do in the same room? Like wiping down the table? that way, she stays near you, learns something that benefits you later and she feels useful.

Thank you. Circium you're right it's not the first time, but it's not something that happens a lot. Just occasionally when I'm really exhausted and stressed and i seem to forget that she is only 3 and doesn't have the same level of understanding I have. I absolutely loathe myself when I happens and it never works so it just causes unnecessary stress and upset for both of us. Setting up an activity before doing things I need to do is a great suggestion and is something I am definitely going to do in future.

Whoops I mean Cirsium

Love that suggestion too ISay. It's nice to know I'm not alone and that I'm allowed to make the odd patenting mistake now and then.

I think the odd loosing of your temper can be a good thing. I shouted at my 3.11 this weekend. In my defence I'm 7 months pregnant and he was bouncing in my legs and it really hurt. i's asked him kindly a couple of times but he wasn't listening.
He had a little cry and then we didn't mention it again. I didn't apologise or ask that he did either.

Personally, I think I shout so rarely it means he understands that when I do shout I really mean it, he needs to know that sometime,s I mean it when I ask him to stop doing something. Had you been doing something dangerous in the kitchen (cleaning up broken glass) your daughter would have had to get out from under your feet.

K

I've had a day like yours today and yesterday so I'm glad to read this thread! I feel guilty for ages after shouting and it only usually happens once every couple of months but it still cripples me with guilt. you are not alone!

Thank you stargazer hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Today has been much better for me.

the fact you feel awful about it tells that your not horrible at all we've all been there at some point. The next time you feel yourself getting that worked remember this feeling that usually helps me calm down and react differently

Just saw this article on facebook and thought you might find it useful. Hope the link works.

dirtandboogers.com/mommy-will-you-play-with-me/