I guess i just want to know how others would feel and also some advice as this whole situation is causing me severe anxiety.
My LO is 12 weeks, this is my first baby, first grandchild for my partners family. When I go back to work next May my MIL will have LO for one day a week,she is retiring and this is something she volunteered to do off her own back and it was arranged while I was pregnant in the early stages.
When I was pregnant my MiL bought everything for LO to keep at her house, a pram, a cot, a high chair, toy box, toys etc. I thought it was a bit extreme and a travel cot and some toys nearer the time would suffice, however I let it go. When LO was 6 weeks she put the cot up in her spare room, with the bedding, sheets bumpers etc all in the cot ready, which I though was over the top, but my partner didn't so nothing was said. Now she's bought baby wall paper, baby curtains and is re doing her whole spare room, she's creating her own nursery. I feel this is so over the top and isn't needed. I feel it is needed at my house as LO LIVES here, but she doesn't live there so it just isn't nessecary. My partner knows I feel that this is just another thing and the start of many more over the top things but won't say anything to her about it.
As I said LO is 12 weeks and they already are talking about buying the biggest and best paddling pool for their house for next summer, ride on Range Rover toy cars and all of some of the best toys that I always envisioned treating my daughter to at birthdays and Christmas, such as Wendy houses, scooters etc, all of this talk at this stage!!! I feel I won't be able to buy any of this for her as they literally are buying everything and she'll probably never enjoy being at home because she'll always have something that little bit better at their house. . MIL I feel is trying so hard to create the 'best' atmosphere at her house and it is really getting on my nerves, I feel she has no respect for my role as mother. I am also sensing huge jealousy from her mainly, she can't handle my role as mother and constantly snatches her from my arms and makes a point of saying how she's all 'Nannys girl'. She watches me like a hawk when I'm nursing LO, just staring at us, always trying to get in little ones face at every opportunity making stupid faces all the time, she just can can never allow me to just sit with LO for 5 minutes.
She often refers to my LO as my SILs baby, my SIL can't have children, but MiL insists on referring to my LO as 'your baby', saying things like 'do you want your baby for a hug'. I feel it's totally inapropriate and disrespecting me as Mom who is sitting right there as my daughter is not her baby, she's mine, quite simple really. My partner has pulled her up on it though.
Not sure what to do, as partner feels them buying everything at this stageis fine, he also thinks it's awesome that she has a nursery at hers. For me there is just one too many things happening and she is only 12 weeks. I dread family occasions and we are so involved with his family, we have to go there twice a week!!. I can't sleep at night thinking about it all, it's having a real impact on my happiness as I feel suffocated.