Just found out I'm pregnant and have an 8 month old.

[Panickingalot]

Just found out I'm pregnant. Complete shock as ds is an IVF baby and we had been told we couldn't conceive naturally.

I'm petrified. We have no family around so I am going to be dealing with a newborn and a 16 month old by myself when my husband is at work.

I have definitely suffered from baby blues with ds and I'm worried that it will be full blown PND if I have to deal with 2 so young.

Any word of wisdom from anyone. Anyone else been in a similar position? Just need a bit of hand holding as still in shock

Thank you so much for replying and for all the advice. I'm feeling a teeny bit better about everything. Been googling double buggies .

I think it's just shock. It took so many years to have ds and now I am pregnant without trying, having only dtd once in like 3 months.

Ebay for double buggies!! We got our Phil and Ted second hand for 150 quid. Best purchase ever.

Can I ask a few more questions - I will be having a cs, did anyone else and how did u manage lifting the older one?

Did you BF the youngest? If so how on earth did u find the time?

I BF the youngest. There wasn't really time. I got pretty good at one handed breastfeeding whilst doing something else with the other hand (feeding DS, playing with DS, walking around, sorting out clothes...) to be fair I am distinctly unorganised and would have ended up with a mountain of mouldy bottles had I formula fed!

I can't answer your cs question, but it was hard towards the end of my pregnancy to lift DS in and out of his cot, up to the changing table etc. He didn't start walking until after I was 7months pregnant so I ended up with quite considerable back pain and saw a physio for a bit. All cleared up within a few months of having DD, and I actually found carrying her in a wrap helped as the fabric felt like it was 'holding me together' as well as holding DD to me

I would get a ring sling and feed hands free that way. (I say hands free. You'd have one hand free and the other you could use without moving your arm much)

I have a 16 month gap, had a planned section second time round - recovery vastly better than from first time emergency section.
I had help planned from family for first few weeks then DH was able to take a good block of leave from work.
I had my toddler in nursery for 3 mornings to allow me time to rest and breast feed which helped.
It is very tiring, but fun. My toddler loves "her" baby.
You need to be organised, pack bag night before so you can get out quickly. Sort out toddler's sleep if you can before baby born. You learn to tolerate a bit of crying from baby as you obviously still have another (big) baby to deal with. But the plus side is the baby has so much more to see with a sibling.
I'm only four months in, but we're muddling through.
Don't listen to those who tell you how awful it will be (they are invariably those with a bigger gap). I heard mainly positives from those with a small gap themselves.
Helps to have a hands-on DH. We moved to reduce his commute which has helped.

Oh and congratulations!

I bf ds2. Didn't have a problem with it. Fed baby while reading story to ds1 or bathing ds1. Trained ds1 to climb up onto my knee (already while pg) rather than pick him up. Although had to occasionally of course. It was really ok. I def think the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. And of course the time really does go by and the disadvantages are realtiblvelt short lived and soon forgotten. I mean, both boys are bigger than me now so it's hard to remember bf ds2 while chasing after only just walking ds 1 and changing 2 lots of nappies etc. Sure it was probably pretty tough but you're so busy just doing it iyswim. It's hard but you survive and then there comes a poi.t where you're past the surviving stage and into the having fun stage.

That is supposed to encourage btw

I BF the twins, my older boy just sits up beside us on the couch as I feed or else he plays away on the floor and we talk and sing songs.

I find it easier than keeping track of all the bottles that I'd need for the two of them and it works for our family as I take the twins for bedtime and DH takes DS1.

DS1 was a bit jealous in the beginning and he'll occasionally act up now when DH and I are holding the twins but it's ok. He's starting to love that they smile at him and they absolutely adore watching him getting up to mischief.

If you BFed your first baby, you'll probably find that your milk comes in easier and you've less soreness on this one seeing as they're so close together

Oh and I had an EMCS as well and I didn't lift DS1 for a few weeks but I felt much better and recovered more quickly than I had done after DS1.

You'd be surprised how much less lifting you'll be doing when your new baby comes.

I have a 10.5 month age gap. You'll just do it (and look back and wonder how on earth you did it!) but you'll get through it.

Congrats! I had difficulty conceiving dc1 and both dh and i had a major panic when I realised I was pg again around his first birthday. We had assumed it would take ages again, doh!
Anyway by the time dc2 came suffice to say I had got used to the idea. They are 2.2 and 4 months now and it's bloody hard work but I don't regret anything.

Congrats! I had difficulty conceiving dc1 and both dh and i had a major panic when I realised I was pg again around his first birthday. We had assumed it would take ages again, doh!
Anyway by the time dc2 came suffice to say I had got used to the idea. They are 2.2 and 4 months now and it's bloody hard work but I don't regret anything.

Hi panicking! Congratulations
Just wanted to say I'm in the same boat as you. Recently found out I'm expecting again and I have a 9mo (also have 2 more but they're late teens). I'm not entirely sure how far along I am as am still bf'ing and haven't had a period but am thinking I might be due March/April.
It wasn't a huge shock as we were trying, but I'm swinging between thinking it'll be lovely for them to be so close in age and wondering if I'm completely crazy to have even contemplated it!!
It's nice to read that it's worked out so well for others so thank you for starting this thread, it's made me feel a bit more relaxed about it all!

Congratulations! I found out I was pregnant with dc2 when dc1 was 4 months old!

After I got over the initial shock and the tricky first year or so it's been a breeze. Honest.

Thanks again

Oops to soon.

It's still very early days so I'm cautious but I am coming round to the idea. Just can't get over that this has happened

Had a 14 month gap between my middle 2, just change your lifestyle for a few years and it's fine.

Best of all zero jealousy because the 14 month old didn't seem to remember the baby not being there after a few days tbh!