My DD is SO high needs and has been every since she was born..I thought it might get better and easier but it isn't ! She has started sleeping through the night after a brutal 1 year of awful broken nights sleep for me and now I feel just about able to hold it together in the day time & have some sort of life outside of being a Mum but me and DD's Dad split up about 3 months ago and after a year of dealing with a high needs baby, breastfeeding constantly, no sleep, a bipolar unmedicated addicted to weed borderline abusive boyfriend I am at my wits end.I am trying to hold it together for my DD but I am increasingly finding it hard to even cope with a whole of her on my own. I can't do any house work, eat, clean, get dressed, go for a wee, do anything on my own without her screaming at me in tears for daring to do anything that doesn't involve her or focus around her. I am just fed up with the constant screaming and now she is refusing her morning nap and only sleeping half an hour and I cannot cope if she drops this nap now...She has extreme separation anxiety and has done ever since she was born and it's not stopping...I am just in demand all the time, all the time. Breastfeeding all the time, I tried to stop but she had huge tantrums and I couldn't handle the 5 am wake ups on my own without breastfeeding. I am struggling to keep the house clean, keep myself sane, do food shopping, worrying about money as I basically cannot afford to live and missing me DP terribly even though he was awful to me...of course he's being really nice now though. I just don't know what to do. She's screaming (quite unconvincingly actually for once) as I have turned the hall light on opened her bedroom door so she knows I am here but I have left her to play with her teddies in her cot for a few minutes whilst i compose myself. I was literally just rocking and crying on the floor. I don't know what to do !!!!! :-( I feel like a shittest Mum and most incapable idiot in the world. I'm sure a lot of other Mums cope with worse than this but she just won't be happy on her own for even a second with me !!!! Her Granny is always telling me what an angel she is at her house...of course she is because Granny doesn't have to do any housework or eat she just gives DD her full attention 100 % of the time all the time. Maybe she should just go and live there so I can have a bloody break and lie in bed and cry for a week !!!!!
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Feel like I can't cope and I just want to put my fingers in my ears, run away, dump DD at her Granny's anything just to not have to hear the screaming anymore
18 replies
NancyPiecrust · 20/10/2015 10:08
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