Nasty 9 Year Old Girls

[peachcake]

Can anyone offer advice on how to explain to my sensitive, kind seven year old daughter why a group of nasty, spiteful and downright bitchy nine year olds snigger in a huddle and make unkind remarks when she goes by for absolutely no reason other than as far as I can see jealousy.
Nothing seems to make her feel better even though I try to explain that it is just jealousy, they don't know her and have never even spoken to her and know no one that she is even friends with!
This isn't at school it's at an activity she takes part in at the weekend! Supposedly for fun! Not surprisingly she doesn't want to go anymore. Such a shame as she is particularly good at this activity and used to have such fun. I have tried speaking to the girls but not to much effect and the parents do not stay they just get dropped off.
Such an early age to teach your child that some people are just flipping horrible!
Can anyone offer advice on how to tackle this and/or how to talk to my daughter about this. Her confidence is taking a severe bashing.

My dds 9 and has been struggling at school with bitchy 9/10 year old girls.

Luckily her best friend is a boy but she's been upset quite a few times this year. One girl in particular is horrible. Things like taking food out of her lunch box and bringing in dds favourite colour pencils, saying dd I've brought you a present in to be friends and then laughing and saying uh not really.

I could actually punch her she makes me so angry on dds behalf.

Dd1 at that age used to talk about having a force field around her that just didn't allow that sort of low level bullying through. I really don't know where she got it from but it lasted to end of primary and it did her well.

DD (age 8) had a lovely if not very pc dinner lady who told her to say "shut up, just shut up" to herself (definitely not out loud!) whenever bigger girls were being horrible, which helped DD, think she still does it.

Sounds like bullying to me. The organisers of the activity need to be told about this so the parents of these girls know what's going on. Who should your dd have to stop something she enjoys because of this nasty, snidey bullying?

Its not jealousy.

Jealousy is very hard to understand when you are 7. She won't understand what the girls are supposed to be jealous of, and therefore won't be comforted by this explanation.

What this is is a bonding exercise. Those girls are bonding over shared spitefulness. It just so happens that the subject is your DD. Without DD, they'd be doing it to someone else.

Instead, I'd be telling DD that this is meanness, and that she is an infinitely better person because she is kind. And arming her with coping mechanisms - come backs, always telling the adult in charge etc.

I would pull her out, and tell the organiser why. It is supposed to be a relaxed, weekend activity, who needs it? Clearly the wrong kind of people go there.

I would not want to taint my own dc with this to be honest, especially at the tender age of 7, if it was at school it would be harder to deal with, but you can easily fix this. Just organise something else with a nicer group of girls.

My dd1 is 8 and having trouble with another girl in her class. I can't stand it. What's even worse is that the mum is quite open in her contempt for me and sometimes dd complains that this girl says things that sound very odd and like they've come from the mother.

I've had to change one of dd's activities and the mother confronted me about it.

My own experience of primary school was marred by horrible little bullying girls and I'll be damned if history repeats itself. This was the 80s, granted, where bullying victims were blamed, but this will not happen to my dd.

Exactly what scatter said, it's a horrendous form of bonding exercise and they would be doing it to someone else if your DD wasn't there. I'd definitely talk to activity leaders though, your daughter shouldn't have to give up her activity because others can't behave. They should be warned and if it continues, they should have to leave, not her.

Have you been in and spoke to the group leader. Just because it isn't school. That doesn't mean that they do not have a duty of care and safe guarding.
which also includes anti bullying policies.
Kids can be so cruel.

Go early or email. Speak to the group leader. Point out the bitches.

By group leader I mean activity organiser

Most important message for your dad is that it really has nothing to do with her and they are just amusing themselves. I agree the jealousy thing is a red herring and may also make her feel that it is her fault. Tell whoever is organising the activity