3 year old overly physical with me

[teacher54321]

3 yo ds is a bright happy little boy who is very articulate and has just started full time pre prep school/nursery and is absolutely thriving. He is polite and respectful at school, obeys all instructions, and is good as gold for grandparents and his teachers etc.

With me he is mostly pretty good but is so physically all over me it is exhausting. He hits me, pinches me, licks me, clambers all over me and it just drives me absolutely crackers. He's never hit anyone out of anger and he's not hitting me hard, it's a tactile/physical thing I think. Obviously though he does hurt me a lot through being too boisterous and sometimes I really lose my temper and he cries. I constantly model cuddles and 'gentle hands' but I just don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

Does he get to do rough and tumble play? He might need a bit of that which also helps teach boundaries. Is his dad around to do that?

It sounds from your description as if you put up with this behaviour for ages, and eventually reach the end of your tether and lose your temper. I think what you need to do is distinguish earlier on between acceptable / unacceptable behaviour and treat the two kinds differently from the beginning. At 3 he's old enough to start understanding this.

Hitting / pinching you - not acceptable (even if it doesn't hurt)
Hurting you - not acceptable (even if it's by accident)
Climbing on you - acceptable (although I know it's annoying sometimes!)
Cuddling you, stroking you - acceptable
Licking you - your call!

Thank you for the replies

Dh is around and v hands on. Ds doesn't do any of these behaviours to him. They do do rough and tumble and have a lovely time.

I always say no immediately when he starts doing these things, and try to move away/stop what we're doing but he doesn't stop until I really shout. I've tried doing calm voices, I've tried walking away. I just wish he wouldn't do these things to start with. I think it's an attention seeking behaviour, but he gets LOADS of attention and cuddling. It doesn't help that I'm exhausted after a very busy first term working full time, at a new school and he's started full time childcare this term as well. Roll on half term!

Try and see it as a positive thing too. It's lovely to have a cuddly tactile DS (I have one) - some DC don't want cuddles!

Try to move away? He's 3!
You need to be firm. Peel him off you and walk away. Say no clearly and firmly. Attention only for nice behaviour. He's learnt this behaviour means he gets your attention.