Feeling ineffective parents

[TerrifiedMothertobe]

We have two boys, 4 and 2. They are in full time childcare whilst we work, both full time. However whenever we are in holiday they behave like animals, litterally. We excercise warnings and time out when appropriate, but it doesn't seem to have much effect. It's putting pressure on my husbands and my relationship, they drive us mad. We are rubbish parents. Help.

What does your child care provider say? How are the weekends- sorry I've assumed your in mon-fri 9-5 type jobs?

You mention how full on you both work- would either of you like to reduce your hours, do you feel like you should?

Do you think if you have unrealistic expectations of behaviour as you have low contact time with your kids?

Lots of questions! Sorry!

What kind of behaviour do you mean can you give examples?

Speak to the childcare providers about their methods and rules. It might be that your methods differ from theirs and that will confuse young kids.

I don't think it's related to 2 working parents - I've worked with kids of various ages for 15+ years and lots have working parents and are chilled - and some with a sahp behave badly. It's more about consistency ... so you could behaviour-manage like daycare, or if it's a smaller set up like a nanny you could suggest your way to them?

Unfortunately (or fortunately as it shows a healthy body and mind) few kids just automatically act genteel and sensible. They need gentle support - and one set of "rules" to play by.

What do you do on your holidays? What do you expect from your boys?