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Feel Like I can't get throught to DS 12 at all - always fighting

2 replies

LockedInTheLoo · 15/10/2015 18:55

I am really struggling with DS 12, my only child, and up until a year ago the swetest boy ever but now seems to want to argue with me about everything.

I am really not sure where I am going wrong at all. It feels like nothing is going right. I am reduced to screaming at him and honestly feel like giving him a slap (but never would).

He is rude

He lies

He swears

He won't listen to ANY advice I give him at all

He takes absolutely no responsibility for himself (homework, PE Kit)

I have been trying really hard to get him to take responsibility for the basics, but he tells on me to my Mum! And Mum and Dad get on my case saying i should do this or do that. He forgot his PE kit and had to wear one too small and got teased and they say this is my fault even though I told him to pick it up.

50% of the time he's lovely and we get on great but it feels like since he started senior school I have completely lost the plot.

Just as an example; he has a weight problem (he has ALWAYS been a hungry kid) and I am trying really, really hard to get his weight down but he is mentally and emotionally exhausting me.

I ask him every day what he ate in the school canteen, but when I check he has lied to me. I try and tell him what foods to avoid eating but he asbolutely refuses to acknowledge that there's anything wrong with what he has eaten and screams at me or blocks his ears. He starts arguments in shops about food. He gives me indigestion over dinner complaining about his portions. It;s like an endless battle.

On the other hadn he moans about being teased for being fat and says he hates his body and I am TRYING to help him but all he does is says it is all my fault he is fat and I feel like I can't win.

He is completely exhausting me. On some days (like today) I feel the only exchanges we have are to argue and he answers back EVERYTHING I say.

I really don't know how to get peace and harmony back in my house, but feel since his Dad left (disappeared) I have lost control and have to play bad cop all the time and my son hates me.

Help!!!

(he is also high funcitoning autistic, and as such he finds it virtually impossible to "let things go". He will literally moan about being hungry for 3 - 4 hours flat)

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
DolphinsPlayground · 15/10/2015 19:03

Can you balanc gout his meals in the evening? So if he has had rubbish at school make a smaller super healthy meal for dinner?

Do you use a visual list of things to check for as he leaves? He can't argue with a poster!

LockedInTheLoo · 15/10/2015 19:15

The problem really is not that I can't prepare those healthy meals (I can) it is that he is shouting and moaning and being absolutely vile to me for hours on end of going to his bedroom and locking the door and it's really getting to me.

Yes, I do do all those things, but he just resists doing anything anyone tells him to do. It's like he's patholically defiant and just want to argue.

Is this a puberty thing?

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