feeling like the worst mum :(

[hedgehogsdontbite]

DS (2.5) has been going to nursery since he turned 1 for language development and social contact, 3 mornings a week. He loves going and is so happy to be there he forgets I exist as soon as he's through the door until pick up time. I give him a hug and kiss outside because I know what he's like and was just pleased he was so happy to go. When I went to collect him he'd come running over for big hugs, clearly happy to see me.

I've recently started language classes myself (we're not in the UK). This means he now goes every morning mon-fri. He still can't wait to get in but when I go to pick him up he cries. Full on weeping, end of the world crying as soon as he sees me. Why? Because he wants to stay. Being at nursery is obviously so much better than being with mummy :(

They don't cry because they want to stay at nursery. They cry because they have a greater awareness of the world. When they see their Mums at the end of the day, they realise that they haven't seen them for a few hours and it hits them all in one go and it's overwhelming. They know that time has passed and they have the ability to recognise that. It's really common in children of this age. At a younger age, they are less aware of or able to consider the implications of you suddenly appearing.

It's nothing to do with nursery being better than you. It's very, very common. IME, it shows good attachment.

I'd like to believe that but he crying and fighting me to stay.

Change is difficult for little ones. It is so so hard not to take it personally, you're his safe place. He can show difficult emotions to you that he might not show to nursery staff. if you read up.on attachment texting at reunion is a recognised behaviour :) and not a negative one :) could you have something with you to focus him on like -teddy/toy from home- is hiding In the car for you can you help me find him? Anything that might distract and break up the intensity for u both? Xxx

It must be tough it would make me sad too.

I would try and think of it like when I was little I was disappointed when my mum shouted me in from the park, or rang my friends house to say it's time to come home. I wasn't sad because I had to go home I was sad because I liked playing with my friends so much that's all.

I actually loved being at home if I wasn't playing out. Try not to take it so personal it shows what a social bambino you have xx

It's the change of situation - nothing to do with you!
My DD is happy when pick up is at the usual time and it's just me. Earlier, later, I walk in with gran ... shock and tears until she realises it's ok.
She was like this for a couple of weeks when we first started full days - but once it became "same old thing" she stopped crying on pick up.

...also it's not just a daycare thing! When my dh works unusual hours she bursts into tears when he arrives home at the "wrong" time. Because she realises the day is unusual and he's been gone ... and needs reassuring that it's a 'safe' unusual.

I think 2.5 to 3ish is the age they go from socialising because we want them to, to socialising because they need to. The most resistant dc who would rather not go in often start to go in without tears at that age, so if your dc was already up for it, hes probably loving it now that he actually needs other dc around him.
It's not a rejection of you, it's just getting stuck in with 10+ other kids who are equally enthusiastic about their crap, they get absorbed and time flys. My friends dd used to grab at the furniture on the way out of playschool and scream because she loved it there so much, they have a fab relationship, she was just so ready and gets so much out of it.

I work with preschoolers, it's really really common that they won't want to start the activity (or come near me) at the beginning and then cry their eyes out at the end of it as they have to leave