Feeling awkward at toddler group

[covewove71]

Does anyone else feel awkward at toddler groups? I feel like I don't know what is acceptable for my child to do and what isn't. I feel like all the other mums have this kind of 'mum knowledge' that I don't have that tells them what to do when their child misbehaves! Weird I know and hard to explain but there it is!

I always feel a bit awkward, but I'm not very socially adept
I think they're kinda a free for all at those group anyway. I don't tend to tell dd off unless she's doing something that will hurt her or others.
What situations do you need advice on dealing with and how old is your dc?

They're guessing

Or, if they're not, then they guessed a lot before knowing what to do/what best to avoid a meltdown.

You'll get it.

Thanks both. I tend to be more relaxed than most other parents, I think. There's one outdoor messy play one where they have water in trays. All the kids come in waterproofs and jump around in the water. My 14 month old tends to just crawl right through the water. Don't think others would let their kids but I don't think it will do him any harm. They also all seem to make their children sit still to eat their snack but mine won't do that. Then there is the toy snatching and toy throwing which I do tell him not to do as it could hurt another child although he doesn't realise that yet. Also cleaning toys after your child has sucked them! Some parents go mad doing this.

I feel awkward in most social situations unless there's gin just imagine you're at home, if your dc is doing something you wouldn't accept at home intervene. Ds is now 5 and in school with many of the dc from the groups, it's still awkward for me but it's nice at least knowing the other parents to say hi too, and makes parties/invites to play etc much easier.

The only thing I'd do differently is enforce sitting down at snack time or no snack. Most groups have this rule because it stops crumbs and food from getting spread about.

I wouldn't clean a toy unless it was actually dripping!

I enforce the 'sitting down to eat' rule...but the other stuff sounds fair game. For what it worth, at pre school play yesterday, my not quite two year old coloured her hand with felt pen, pushed dollies prams like a crazy lady, toy microwaved many things, coloured in her foot, shrieked, tried to fit big dolls into a dolls house and examined the loos.

14 months is an awkward age, it sounds like most of the other toddlers are a bit older maybe? it will get easier when he understands more and wants to copy his peers.
In the meantime just decide what's important (for me, I ask myself - is he hurting/upsetting anyone? Is he damaging anything?) and stay close so you can redirect him if need be. Try not to panic if the worst happens - a little boy bit my ds really badly on the face at a group once, and the mum basically flustered and tried to excuse his behaviour - I think she didn't know what to do/say, if she'd just said 'I'm so sorry that happened' and made a point of keeping a closer eye on her son that would have made me feel much better.
im not fussed if my ds won't sit down at snack time, but that means he doesn't get a snack - running round with food is too much of a choking risk for me apart from the mess

I never went to baby groups, but have always felt a bit awkward parenting within a similar setting. I don't know why but I feel like the other parents are constantly judging (which they probably are) and thinking 'OMG! HOW is she letting him just do that? Is she not going to do anything?'

Now I try to think 'Shhh. If he isn't harming anyone or putting his life in danger, it's fine!' Kids will be kids. Them having fun, learning and playing is more important than other people's silent judgements.

What do these parents clean the toys with?!

The sitting down to eat I do actually support but that is because I have a toddler with serious food allergies so it's a complete nightmare for me to go places where food is likely to be dropped all over equipment. It makes me look like one of those parents constantly hovering over her, but it's so she doesn't pick up something she shouldn't eat. There is only one group I feel I can relax at a bit more because of the sitting down to eat rule, and at that one she fell off something (low) and bumped her head and then I felt that the others were judging me for NOT being right there by her side before she fell. She was fine, no harm done!

Eating while wandering about is a choking hazard. I think it's worth you enforcing that with your DS.