Didn't realise how lonely being a mum was

[Notcopingrightnow]

Apologies, this is a bit of a self-pitying whinge, so any advice on pulling myself together would be good.

DS is 6 weeks old and was born at 35 weeks by emcs. I'm really struggling at the moment with feeling really isolated. I was the first of my NCT class to give birth - DS actually came to the last session - and I don't really know anyone with a baby of the same age. I seem to be offering advice to people just having babies, but I have no one to talk to. My friends with kids tend to have much older ones.

I'm trying to get out and about to meet other mums, but it's been difficult. I have had to walk everywhere (didn't feel up to driving until recently, but share car with DH), which limits what I can get to. I've always been a bit awkward at talking to strangers and making friends, so have gone to coffee mornings and baby massage, but I find it difficult to go from chatting at an organised meet to organising something out of that.

I have friends who are around during the day, but I feel bad bothering them to meet up. I've always been quite independent and I just feel so needy at the moment.

So at the moment, I'm spending a lot of time at home with DS. I feel bad for him stuck at home and I'm worried I'm not interacting with him enough. It just feels so difficult when he seems to mainly feed, cry and sleep. I did realise we wouldn't be having in-depth chats, but the one-sidedness of it is really getting me down and I'm half-convinced he doesn't like me. He's spent today feeding virtually every hour, so I'm exhausted. I'm worried about routines, him getting enough sleep and food and that he's getting enough mental stimulation.

DH is great when he's home - he's taken him for a walk right now - but he has a 2+ hr commute, so is out of the house a lot.

Basically, I've spent half of today crying and feeling inadequate. Someone, please tell me it gets better? DS is amazing and I love him dearly, but I'm afraid I'm failing him and generally being a pathetic excuse for a mum

Your baby is 6 weeks old. Give yourself a break to recover from the birth and change to your life. At that stage my dd was feeding constantly and I found meeting up with people quite stressful. I would however always go for a walk with my dd as a walk, fresh air and a coffee always makes me feel better.

Personally I have found baby groups no use at your babies age. Baby is too young to play with toys or interact and you are dependent on other mums with young babies being present.

At 8 weeks I joined a baby sensory class. My dd was a little too young for it if I am honest at that stage but she's now 13 weeks and it's the highlight of our week. It's the same mums (& a couple of dad's) each week so I've found it easier to get to know people.

Congratulations!! 6 weeks is quite a milestone.
Being the first to have your baby out of your group is quite lonely, but you can pave the way for all the others to follow, they soon be in your position, and it will be so much nicer once they are all exhausted, drained and basically feeling just the way you do!!!
I felt really lonely sometimes at this age too (It won't always be this way your ds will soon be chatting to you non stop) I played the radio a lot, listened to talk shows and called people for chats as I was like unable to go out as much as I wanted to (Too tired)
Can you meet up with your old friends for a glass of wine now? I think I had my first night out around 8 weeks and it was amazing, such a tonic for all of us and made me feel human again.
Establishing some other mothers you feel relaxed with should be your goal, I didn't feel comfortable suggesting things in person, but felt I could do it through email and text. So would just drop the others a message with my plans for the week and invited them along. It worked wonders, and before long we would have lovely walks, lunches, picnics. It will come together I promise.
It is still really early days for you, take it easy, you have the chance to relax and rest at home or go out, either way your baby just wants to be with you. Enjoy your baby, soon he will be going to school like mine!!

I remember feeling shocked by just how emotional everything is when you have just had a baby, don't forget your hormones are still going crazy. I used to put DS in his sling and put music on and just dance around the house for a bit, always cheered me up. Then I'd take him for walks etc, bit of fresh air for both of us. Oh and I always liked to go into Marks and Spencer when DS was little - all the staff and old lady shoppers LOVE a baby and give you loads of lovely compliments! Don't worry about doing much/anything really, I got obsessed with reading everything I could about motherhood, on here, in parenting books, magazines etc because I just had to get my head round it all! And p.s. it IS really awkward to ask other moms to meet up, like asking someone for a date! I've only done it once and we're still friendly and laugh about it but I still cringe, so you're not the only one who finds that bit difficult!

My baby is 15 weeks - it gets easier I promise.

IME the fitness type groups are better for making friends than the baby type groups. I do buggy fit at the local park and the mums always have tea/food/a chat afterwards. There's also a weekly sling walk in the countryside and the mums stop and have a cup of tea and a chat afterwards. Baby Sensory is great fun, but there seems to be less chance to make friends - the parents attend the class and then pick up their baby and leave (no cuppa afterwards)! Find activities with a coffee shop on site!

Six weeks is really early, please don't be so hard on yourself.

My NCT group have proved a great support network so don't rule them out just yet. Could you all form a WhatsApp group and chat on there. After the NCT course our group met weekly whilst still pregnant. Once the babies came the meet-ups stopped for a while as we were all getting to grips with being parents. After a few weeks we all started meeting up again with our babies at parks or each others houses.