I thought it got easier..

[MissTwister]

Everyone talks about the 3 month mark as a turning point where things become easier. So why am I finding it so much harder?

She's getting so demanding - wanting to be entertained every second of the day and squawking consistently - leading to a screaming fit - if she's not. I have to dangle toy after toy in front of her, change the scene every ten minutes - it's driving me mad.

Getting her to nap during the day is a massive battle. She gets overtired and won't sleep unless my boob is in her mouth.

And she just cries and screams much more now than before and I can't work out why anymore.

It was much easier when she was littler!

Any words of encouragement....

I think three months is a bit early for it to become easier... Sorry, maybe you are a bit more aware of what's going on. I remember 8 months being a massive breakthrough. I was suddenly enjoying most of the time.

But that doesn't really help now.. Sorry! I think 3 months was when we stopped feeding on demand and fed my son every 3 hours during the day. He was bottle fed so maybe different for you. By knowing when the next feed was coming we could anticipate what was coming. 3 months might also have been when he discovered telly. He would watch the bedtime hour and it was bliss!!!

Hang in there... It does get better just not magically at the same time as everyone says it should. Fuckers x

You have my sympathy. I too was pinning a lot of hope on 12 weeks with my high needs newborn. Turns out he is just high needs even now as a toddler. Things did get easier when he could sit up, then again when he could crawl and again when he could walk and they can entertain themselves better. It's great in so many ways but you have to find ways to deal with it that don't rub against their personality.

At that age my DS was massively unimpressed with dangly toys or any toys to be honest and all the bloody expensive yoga/sensory/swimming etc classes that he cried all the way through . All he wanted was an adult level view of the world and to be close to me so he pretty much lived and slept in a sling. If you haven't got one that's comfy I would pop to your local sling library and try a few. If she's anything like my DS you will get a lot of use out of one (we still use one every day at 16mo).

Other than that, embrace their personality. I find that 'high needs' babies are great fun once you get out of the newborn bit. Hard work, but great fun and give the most/best cuddles and kisses.

Also don't beat yourself up about feeding to sleep. Do it as long as it works for both of you. She won't need it forever and why make it hard for yourself if it works. I have a friend who still feeds her toddler to sleep. It's great, he's out like a light with no messing about.

I have a 23 month old and a 14 week old. I don't think there is a particularly defining moment when things get easier. Actually, they get easier, then harder, then easier again, then bloody hard. At present my 23 month old is a million times harder than my 14 week old.

Op I think we had our dc quite close together as I remember you from other threads.

Not to make you seem disheartened but I have found my dc to be easier now she is 3 months old.

Is your dc in more of a pattern with breastfeeding? My dc only started feeding every 3 hours 2 weeks ago (pretty much overnight) but it is this change which has made life so much easier as I can plan the day a bit more.

I totally understand the entertainment thing! If it's any help I deal with the entertainment issue by about 50 mins before nap time I put her in her chair for 10 mins, then hold and sing/read to her for 10 mins, put her in gym for 10 mins then hold her for 10 mins again, put her in crib and stay in room for 10 mins (usually putting washing away/tidying) then she usually falls asleep. That said at least one nap a day is in her pushchair when going for a walk and another is on my breast.

I can't use a sling due to back problems but my friend swears by hers.

Kellymom has a good page about babies falling asleep on the breast and advice if you want to break that habit. I like Co sleeping and feeding her to sleep but I am trying to encourage her to self settle now (a little controlled crying Mn blasphemy I know).

I think I found mine easier from about 6 months... Both my DC were crawling by then, so it was differently challenging, but overall easier for me.

I found that it got easier about every 6 months - although that might have been partly because it co-incided with milestones.

DD got much, much easier when she started crawling at 6.5 months - basically was happy so long as she could tootle around and I was in sight.

Then when she learned to walk at 1 year, she was again really happy to be able to explore in a new way. For both those changes, I just made sure that the rooms she uses are safe for her, so that I could let her get on with it - obviously still with supervision and encouragement, but with minimal no-ing (which is no fun for anyone).

2yo was also a step-change - not sure why really, but maybe because she started being able to communicate, got interested in things like painting and stickers, and just seemed to become more reasonable.

It honestly does get easier. It also gets more and more fun as they do more and become their own little person.

I was told three months too and it didnt happen for me either! For us there was a gradual change after 6 months and a noticeable improvement in ease when he could sit up (even in early days with cushions behind him). The challenges change, DS is a very heavy 1 year old going through a clingy stage and its hard work trying to do simple things with him on my hip! Weaning and becoming mobile were game changers for us. Hang in there!

I started 3 hourly feeds (roughly) at 9 weeks then introduced an approximate EASY routine to disassociate feeding with sleeping. I've done this with both of mine and things have then got easier between 3 and 4 months.
I'm sure you have, but do you have a playgym so you don't have to dangle the toys?

We did 3 hourly feeds too but the OP is breastfeeding so that makes it a bit trickier.

I never got that either. The only "easier" thing that happened is that his colic has problems eased up at 3 months, but like you my son became suddenly hyper alert and curious ..which would be fine if he were happy to play on his own but I ended up walking around with him in my arms or sling to keep him "entertained" otherwise he would whine like no other. My DS is now 5 and a half months and although we still have sleeping problems won't sleep without boob he is able to play more on his own, like watching cartoons (only for about 15/20 mins but that's just enough time to get some stuff done in the house!) -- enjoys walks on the stroller more because he likes looking around at things, and is just easier to entertain than when he was 3 months.

I think in my case I will only see real improvement in anything once he's able to walk on his own because I feel like he's frustrated he can't move without needing me, but I can say it's definitely easier now than when he was 3 months old, and that was just two months ago!

Our DS didn't get easier at 3 months! I'd say probably a little harder as he was so much more aware of things and started to fight going to sleep, as he didn't want to miss anything. He's still the same now at 4.5 months but now we've learned how to handle things better, so it's easier now. We learned he could only really go an hour and a half or so without sleep then it was important to get him to sleep quickly, before his second wind crept in! He had been going to sleep fine in the crib on his own before but started wailing when we put him there because he didn't want to miss out on anything. So I now just pop him in his pram and go for a wee walk when he needs a nap during the day. Wouldn't work for everyone but I love walking around our wee village, I get the shopping done, stop cabin fever creeping in and feel less bad about the chocolate and cake and crisps I eat too much of. On the plus side at 3.5 month-ish he suddenly got a lot better at sleeping through the night - we (bottle) feed him to sleep then he generally only wakes once during the night and gets up about 7 or 8ish. Another vote here for not feeling bad about feeding to sleep, do what works for you and enjoy it - I know in years to come I'll miss snuggling up with DS and feeding him to sleep.