Night alone with 1-4 week old baby?

[Starspread]

I'm coming up for the end of pregnancy (hence the rather broad time frame in the title!), first baby, and right now we're mostly avoiding making any solid plans for the next couple of months because of obvious reasons.

However, my DH has a potential booking local to us (he's a semi-professional performer) ten days after my due date. It's through people who are also friends, so they'd be reasonably understanding if he had to cancel at the last minute, which is why I feel like it's even an option.

Right now, it's something I'm totally behind him doing (for lots of reasons) and so I've said a provisional yes, on the understanding that if I'm feeling overwhelmed that day at the thought of him being out from early evening to the early hours of the next morning, he'll either reduce the time he's out or cancel completely if necessary, and he's totally happy with that too.

Are we mad to think that, a few weeks in, I could plausibly be okay with being on my own for a night? He works from home so tbh it doesn't seem much different from a partner being out at work all day - it's just at night. This seems right now like a perfectly reasonable idea but I'm aware that everything's about to change! People on the other side of New Baby - what do you think?

I think it's hard to say until you know how well you're coping etc.
However I had 2 days and nights at home alone with a 20 month old and 2 week old. It was fine. In fact DH never slept in our bedroom for the first few weeks so I was technically alone at nights with the baby for weeks!

Depends when the baby comes and what state you are in TBH. Given that most mums are on their own all day 2 weeks after the birth when partner returns to work, then after 2 weeks I would've thought you would be fine. Even before then, as long as you/your partner makes sure you have easy access to food and drink, I would think you should be fine. With a very small baby you tend to resort to 24 hour living anyway - feed for an hour or so, change baby, put them down to sleep/hold them to sleep while you nap and then repeat 2 hours later. Doesn't make much difference if you are on your own or not for one night!

Although I've just seen the booking is 10 days after your due date. My DD1 was born 9 days after my due date.

It should be OK if the baby is born early or by the due date, and everything is good with you. It might be more tricky if the baby decides to wait a bit (might want to be born 10 days late...) and/or if for any reason you need extra physical help in the early days.

I think that (all other things, such as medical circumstances, being fine), that you will be able to handle the night alone. Make sure you plan, so that you have food/drinks for yourself easily available with little/no cooking. There is very little that a baby needs overnight that needs two people to supply it...but have as many naps as possible before and after so you don't feel like you've been up for hours on end.

You might still be pregnant then. Dc1 came 14 days late...

But yes, if baby is here by then you'll be fine. You may be unwashed and house in a state, but other than that you'll survive.

So long as you are both healthy, you make your routine according to what your family needs and living pattern is. You have no other kids to worry about (I'm guessing) and you and your baby should just be able to go with the flow.

Remember that lots of women do this all by themselves, all the time. It's not always easy (though sometimes it actually is the easiest time!) but it's also not impossible.

And yes, DS1 didn't appear until he was dragged out 16 days after his due date!

You'll be fine, ive looked after one then two children by myself in the newborn days when DH has had to work away.
Set your standards very low- just keep baby alive and rested if possible and eat and drink whatever you can get your hands on with minimal effort! As

Ten days after my due date the first time baby was still in! This time I had a section at 39 weeks so had a two week old.

You will be fine. Babies don't need much, just fed and clean and warm. Set up a bag for yourself with easy to eat snacks and drinks, have spare clothes / nappies / wipes / cream laid out at your downstairs and upstairs changing stations. Go to bed early and then you don't have to worry about moving around too much.

DS2 is 5 weeks today and my DH is going to be away from Friday for a couple of weeks, back briefly and then away again. It's going to be exhausting but we will all survive.

You can do it. I did from when my daughter was a couple of weeks old as her dad did regular sleepovers at work, so 24 hours away and then usually sleep after because he had a really disturbed night. Just survive. Don't worry about getting anything done, make sure u have the essential supplies in, and as I was bf a lot I used it to watch things he would never enjoy ??

I am not great at "coping" sans DH, but I think I could have managed this. In the early weeks it's all sleeping feeding and changing.

My DH went to a funeral when DC1 was 10 days old which involved him staying overnight (his gran died on the day DS1 was born ). It was fine. Unless you have a particularly high needs baby I think you'll be ok. Although, as a pp said, you might be late - 10 days after my due date DC1 was only 2 days old!

This is all MASSIVELY reassuring, thank you! Excellent point that some women do it totally on their own, too :)

If baby's not out by then, then tbh I doubt he'd want to be away from me for a whole evening, so if I'm that late then all bets are off anyway.

Both my dc were 13 days late but Dh was back working various shifts a week after both dc wwre born with no option of not going cancelling etc.

When my second was four weeks I went on a three night holiday, with both kids, by myself, at the other side of the country, on public transport.

My only concern would be if you were in labour at that stage (provided you want your partner with you during labour, I didn't)

If that baby's not out by then you may find yourself begging him to go off for a night, you'll be so sick of the constant 'well?', 'anything?', 'was that a contraction or just a fart?'
You may also be minded to play the Sod's Law game. You know the one - off you go, nothing's gonna happen...
However, if all goes to plan, make a pile of sarnies, a flask of soup, a 2lt bottle of water, lots of chocs and take yourself and baby to bed for the duration.

Completely do-able. DH works away for a month or more at a time and first went when DD was 3 weeks old

Sign up for supermarket delivery and in case you decide to use it and look up an ironing service it can be a godsend".

Cook and freeze some meals just now, simple things like chilli you can chuck in the microwave till you find your feet

You'll do great

I think you'll be fine. He won't be out all night, and you'll probably have already had to try something very similar. Hospitals tend to have visiting hours from about 9am-9pm, so if you're in for a couple of nights you'll already have had a few alone with the baby. I know it's different knowing there's someone you can call, but in my experience, with 30 women and only 2 midwives on during the day (1 at night maybe?) there wasn't much point in calling for anything less than URGENT! Plus, my LO is 5 weeks, and still doesn't sleep much in her cot, so we're doing split shifts. Again, it's not the same as when DP is actually out, but sitting up in the small hours with a newborn is pretty much life. You may not even notice he's gone, rather than asleep.

However, I would say consider the various options - at EDD+10 you might well have a 4 week old, but you might also be still pregnant, in labour or scheduled for an induction, so make sure you really can cancel absolutely last minute.

Potentially very doable. If you a bf'ing anyway, the reality is you'll be doing much of the doing anyway. Hopefully you'll both be asleep the majority of the time he is gone.

my only reservation would be if you go overdue and / or have to have a c-section. In that case you might be struggling to get around / pick the baby up etc. But to be honest I would have been fine with this at that stage (and might quite have enjoyed the space in a time when everyone is all over you!!).

If the baby is out you'll be fine. DH was at work from DS being 3 days old and i had had a c section. He also went out for the evening when DS was 8 days old.

Do you have a friend/relative who can be with you if you are still pregnant?

If I'm still pregnant, he's said himself that he wouldn't want to be away for an evening, and would cancel a day or so before, so that's not a problem.

I came home with ds on the Thursday afternoon at 4pm having had him at 5 am that morning. OH had night shift on the Saturday 6pm - 4am.

It is perfectly doable

This is surely no different to someone going to work during the day except it's at night? The only thing I would say is that if the baby isn't a great sleeper at night you might want to get dh to be in charge for a few hours before he goes so you can catch up on sleep, that way if you have a sleepless night you will already have some sleep in reserve.

But am I right in thinking this is actually just an evening/late night rather than over night? You'll be fine. :)