Small age gaps: talk me out of this please

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I (we) definitely want another child. I'd initially thought my ideal age gap would be 3 years, or as close as possible. It seemed sensible (though I am aware that threenagers can be absolute hell!).

But. DD is 4.5 months old and already I'm starting to feel that pull of wanting another. I'm breastfeeding, so I would imagine the chances of me getting pregnant any time soon would be very slim if we did stop using contraception. But that's not to say it couldn't happen.

Someone talk some sense into me please. We have the room in our house for a second child, though financially it'd perhaps be tight. It sounds like absolute madness but my heart is trying to overrule my head, and it's difficult!

Nope - there's 18 months between my two and it's fab :) was hard work while they were both in nappies (& DH insisted on using washables - which was fine as he did the laundry) but it was and is great as they grow up. As smaller children they played together, as older children they're interested in the same things so still do lots of stuff together, read similar books, do the same out of school activities.

We also got the difficult years over relatively fast although I don't really remember anything being that difficult (sheer luck but I'm not complaining!)

19 months between mine and they are very close, even at 14 and 16

Doesn't mean they don't argue at times. And I can't remember much about the first 3 or 4 years!

It's a trick your hormones are playing on you, stand firm!!

I'm 37 weeks and will have a 13 month age gap.
Firstly don't assume TTC will take ages. As it took about 10 months with DC1 we thought it would take the same or longer but errrrr first go

The downers so far:

• The pregnancy is tiring on a whole new level. Dealing with poo whilst being morning sick, the baby becoming active just say the stage you get big, tired and can't keep up.
• everyone assumes it's unplanned / mistake. Doesn't bother me much but it is a bit rude.
• OR they decide you are sex mad. Yes, we do have a TV at home but there's nothing good on in the winter
• There are some increased risks to a pregnancy soon after your last one. Maybe read up on those and decide. In my case I decided they were balanced out by the risks of being a lot older if I'd waited 3+ years.

Oh and double buggies are hell! Either like driving a lorry, or you have a baby in the luggage rack or fucking expensive.

Hah, oh god. Thank you all for your insights.

Abbey oh I would make no assumptions on TTC, DD wasn't exactly planned! My approach would definitely be not to TTC unless I was ready to get pregnant immediately.

Looks like it's a no go anyway, DH is definitely not keen!

In my circle 3 years is the most popular age gap due to pre-school funding (and MC for 2 couples sadly leading to a bigger than planned gap.) All the siblings with this gap get on really well. My two are 2.10 apart and adore each other now at 5 and nearly 8. I enjoyed having time to do the baby stage with each of them. I do suffer from anxiety when excessively tired though.

In my limited experience of the people I know a gap of under 18 months or getting close to 3 years is doable. Around about the 2 year mark seems very challenging indeed. I'm sure others who have this gap will disprove this though.

I've got a 19 month age gap and I think that the current stage we are at (ds 2.10 ds 14m) is the worst so far. Dd is toilet trained but wets herself for attention if I'm with ds too much for her liking. Ds is clingy and teething and wants me all the time.

In all honesty, I wish we had waited for ds. I haven't had time to stop and look at him, to see what makes him laugh, to read him books and play silly games. At the moment dds needs are always prioritised, and it makes me a bit sad. I'm sure it will get better as they get older..

Equally, they love each other so much and that genuinely makes me swell with love for them. When ds wakes up he will go to dds bedroom door, and when dd gets up the first person she asks for before she's even sat up is ds.......

Pros and cons!

Ooh I want another one too, ds is 8 months and I am getting super broody...dh does not feel the same due to ds's inability to sleep! X

15 months between mine it's perfect they get on really well and the oldest always thought baby was especially for him. No jealousy very little sibling fighting and still really really good friends now they are adults.

23 month gap, they are 9 and 11 now,?definitely wouldn't have done it differently. Two years is overwhelmingly the most popular gap amongst other parents I know.

13 months here not planned. First couple of years flipping hard work. They didn't really get on as early teens I don't think it helped as they were never apart being only a year difference in school. But now at 18 and 19 they are so close (girl and boy). And selfishly I got my career back very early.

Haha, I came onto parenting to post a request for folk to tell me the benefits of sticking with two versus having a third!

I have a small age gap, baby same age as your's OP, and I'm already having pangs! It must be hormonal.

16 month gap, hard work but lovely. It helps if your eldest is sleeping - we had to sort that out a few weeks in. Also helps if you have supportive family or childcare to allow you to have a bit of one-to-one time with each.

As others have said, if undecided, take precautions!! Our's was a "well, let's see, we know we want a second before too long"....before too long was 9 months later