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DP agreed to go to GP for anger issues but worried about upcoming SS assessment

5 replies

PipersOrange · 08/10/2015 12:03

I'm not sure this is the right place for this and I was really flamed last time posting so I'm nervous but I'm scared I'm trying to minimise a situation again and although I hated the advice I got last time, it helped and I went to the necessary people for help. My partner has anger issues which he has finally admitted to and had agreed to go the GP about and has booked the appointment. However we have just been contacted by SS to say that they want to set up a CIN as a result of the assessment they carried out (due to my MH issues), and in the document they gave to us to read through before it says that they have accessed his medical records at the GP. I know that I signed and said they could see mine but he's not done the same and is now worrying about going to the doctors because it is the day before the CIN meeting.

I'm just so relieved he's decided to go to the doctors that I don't want anything to delay it. I'm guessing though realistically SS will need to know about this? Him knowing about my MH issues is seen as one of the most important "protective factors" I think it's called and so I'm guessing that if he goes to the GP with anger control issues then he won't be seen as a protective factor and it will be escalated through SS? I'm worried I'm just making excuses for him again but he's said he'll rearrange the appointment for the next day, so it's a case of not wanting SS to know as opposed to not wanting to go the the GP but I can't work out if that's okay or not. I just want SS to be happy and sign us off, as ds is happy and thriving at nursery (their words) and I'm finally settled and my MH is stable and actually enjoying being a parent for one of the first times. But I know it's not about how I feel it's about DSand his happiness and safety but I don't know what's best for him.

That was longer than I meant but I've tried to explain it clearly

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 08/10/2015 12:06

you both need to be open and honest.

if he is getting help for his anger issues that is good.

but if i was ss i would want to keep an eye on you and ds and him for next few months to make sure his anger has not manifested in any untoward way towards you or towards ds. that would only be right.

PipersOrange · 08/10/2015 12:14

That's what I thought they would think - I had mentioned to them and HCP that he had problems controlling his anger but I think they were just so focused on my MH problems that it was ignored.

I'm just worried about things escalating. I don't mind having someone come round to check how we are and to keep in touch, but they're wanting me to take time off work for big meetings and I'm worried this will be the norm if it is.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 08/10/2015 12:47

Things wil only escalate if his anger is or becomes an issue. That s to fo wiyh his anger. Is his anger an issue or not ? Recognising it and getting help is positive.

Otherwise they have to complete certain reports etcthen can close the case if nothing further needed. Ask for meetings at beginning or end of day so it s not so much time off work.

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Lauren15 · 08/10/2015 12:56

You need to be honest. The truth always comes out and you will look untrustworthy which will make things worse in the future.

cestlavielife · 08/10/2015 15:05

sorry just seen that he isnt getting help is he? he has merely agreed to go and talk to the gp about it... that is far off actually getting help tho a good step...

are incidents relating to his anger recorded somewhere? could his anger be exacerbating / has exacerbated your own MH and emotional well being?

having said that, if he is honest and tell ss he wants help they can maybe help fast track this.. i dont know what anger management courses there are but there could be a wait list.

at the same time, if he goes to the gp day before CIn meeting it is unlikely they will have picked this up unless GP feels it is relevant and alerts them...what incidents of anger have there been? against you? against everyone? at work?

you do need ot be honest so if needs be you can get help if needed.

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