Negotiating bedtime with number 2

[cheekyface6]

Hi, I was wondering how all you mums out there manage multiple bedtimes? Daughter number 2 has arrived and is starting to seem to need an earlier bedtime, but I don't seem to be able to figure out a way to fit it all in around bedtime of my elder daughter who is 5 now. Number 1 has a fairly rigid bedtime routine which she likes to stick to and if baby goes to bed and cries to self soothe, the older one won't settle! Hope that makes sense...! What do you do at bedtime?

My dd1 is 3 and dd2 is 8 months.

Are you putting them both down every night on your own?

When I'm on my own I usually put dd1 down a tad earlier than normal so about 7.15. I start dd2's bottle around 7.15 and then let dd2 play on the floor while dd1 gets stories and songs and dd2 joins in with that.
Then I give dd2 the rest of her milk and put her down.

What time does your dd1 go to bed and what time does dd2 need to go to bed now before she gets overtired? How do you normally put dd2 to bed? Does she get cuddled to sleep or to down awake? X

My DD2 is 8 months and flakes out at about 6.45, so I get her changed, fed and into bed by 7. She gets the odd bath, but not every night. DD1 is 5 and she gets into the bath at 7 or a little later. I can then pop in to resettle DD2 while DD1 is in the bath. DD1 comes out of the bath at 7.30 and we do pjs, teeth and books until about 8pm. She's asleep by 8.30, but clearly doesn't need as much sleep as some 5 yo.

Hi Scattymum101 and Pico2, thanks for that! Usually my husband is around at bedtime but not always. We were thinking of a routine something like the one you outlined - that works for you? DD1 is 5 and ideally needs to be in bed by about 7.15-7.30. DD2 is 5 months and is seeming to be burning out by 7 now, or goes into meltdown. We have tried keeping her in with DD1 for story etc and then bedtime feed and bed, but its ending up too late for her. ATM she falls asleep on her last feed (BF) and then gets put in her cot, although she does wake up a bit then and can self soothe if she wants to! I know I shouldn't cuddle her to sleep but its so nice!! :o) x

Oh don't worry about the cuddling to sleep thing. I wish my dd2 would let me!!!! She's wanted her own space to go to sleep since about 7 weeks old but dd1 was cuddled to sleep til about 15 months lol.

If hubby is there too then I would split bedtime and you put baby down since you're feeding her and hubby put dd1 down. That's the way we usually do it as hubby is at work all day and he enjoys having some story time with dd1 and having a chat about their day etc.
Normally both in jammies for 7.15 and hubby takes her through at 7.30 and I feed dd2 in living room (she's still in with us as we're in a two bed flat) and take her through drowsy and she goes over in her cot and I lie beside her in the bed. Both are usually out by 8pm.
Dd2 probably could do with going over a bit earlier but she doesn't want a feed any earlier so we've figured this works for now.

It's so hard though. Dd2's bedtime has been a nightmare as she is very difficult to feed and always has been. She takes a lot of coaxing to take her milk and this means bedtime is later (she suffered with reflux as a small baby, tried to BF but she had a tongue tie and awful latch and couldn't get it snipped, bloody NHS).
Sorry for essay btw lol. Probably not that relevant but just meant I feel your pain. X

I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old. Only just getting the hang of bedtime with 2! What works for us is all upstairs to my bed at 6ish, I feed baby while DS has his bath and/or watches the iPad, and I get him changed into pjs, milk, teeth etc. Once baby is well fed and calm we all go into DS1s bedroom for books, chat and cuddle. I then take baby out to start settling him back in our room. Doesn't always go smoothly (DS is big on procrastinating and tired tantrums at the moment!). Really baby needs to go to sleep first but takes s while to get him to sleep and DS can't wait that long.

Thanks for your messages. We had a family party last night so all bedtimes were all over the shop anyway. Tonight we tried this... Both dd1 and dd2 upstairs at 6.30..into pyjamas and washed. Dd1 off to choose story and then come back to our room for a cuddle while I bf dd2 who then fell asleep and woke up while I moved her to cot. Dd1 and hubby and I went to her room for her story and song only to be accompanied by screaming dd2 minutes later.... She is now fast asleep on my lap and firmly latched onto me in the lounge.... Oh well.... I think dd2 was overtired by that time but earlier would not have been doable because of dinner...