Handling lies

[HexBramble]

Need some advice here or even a mild shake.

Found a note tonight written in childish, rushed handwriting. The words, while not swear words or name calling, were hurtful. It was clearly written by one girl, meant for the other.

Both have flatly denied it, one has said "honest to God" (which we discourage). Now it's the actual lie that is the problem, and the note less so. Both have had form in the past for telling me lies - brushing teeth, doing homework etc and as mild as it sounds, I find it pretty heartbreaking that they can lie to me.

How do I handle this?
Is this a case of 'get a grip and pick your battles'?

Lying is such a fundamental no-no that I'm gutted they/one of them do it!

Should proof read. A whole sentence has vanished!

I have 2 DD's, 8 and 10. One of them has written the other this nasty little letter. No one is fessing up.

Not sure what the answer is but can you not tell who wrote it from the handwriting?

I can't tell - it was clearly a note scrawled in a rush and DD has pretty sharp writing for her age so both girls are similar.

Frustrating.

Both are in bed with the full knowledge that this has upset me.

Bump

Can you not handle this like any other undesirable behaviour - explanation, warning, consequences, loss of privileges etc.
If neither will 'fess up, then I would punish both. They have both lied to you in that neither will tell you what actually happened, and this suggests that perhaps there have been other notes on both sides (why keep quite otherwise?)
I sympathise - lying is one of the worst things for me too. You might get a confession in the morning, or even later tonight if they can't sleep!

They must have gotten "honest to god" from somewhere, as I don't think there are any kids' media sources that use that a lot. Is this something you or your partner use around them?

Punish both with whatever your biggest punishment is. I had this with scribbling on the wall. Last major punishment for a long time afterwards though.

I think many children lie, especially in a case where they may be in trouble or have done something they are actually ashamed of.
They are both lying ( by not telling you who the culprit is) so punish both with whatever sanction you use as a consequence for bad behaviour.

I am sure they will lie to you many many times before they reach adulthood.