Toddler food issues, please help

[Sugarandsalt]

I've posted about this elsewhere also. My 17month old has never shown much interest in food, ate nothing at all til she was nearly 11months, small amounts thereafter. She had one 3 week period at around 13 months when she ate well.

Currently she eats very little. She generally has one day where she will have one good meal, and snack and the rest of the week we are lucky if she has more than a spoon or two of anything. She looks constantly for breastmilk which I limit mostly to 2-3/day. She won't have any milk, yoghurt etc so am reluctant to stop entirely. So far today she has had 5 raisins and 2 grapes. She threw breakfast and lunch on the floor. I desperately want to teach her table manners but it's so hard when she eats nothing as I don't want her to have bad associations with food. I leave food on a plate in her play area so she can graze without pressure, and add cream, butter, oil etc to everything to increase the calories.

I know toddlers are fussy and picky and can appear to live on air, but she's dropped 2 centiles in the last few months so I think it's more than the usual. HV helpfully advised I give her larger portions.

Can anyone offer helpful advice as I'm very concerned at this point.

Anyone?

I was once advised that it's unhelpful to look at a toddler's daily intake of food, and that you should look at what she eats over the course of a week. This might help you get it into perspective and take some of the anxiety out of mealtimes.

I offer DS a portion of what we're having at every meal, and he either eats it or he doesn't, depending on whether or not he's hungry. He's coming up to 3 and eats like a horse - in the past he's gone through periods of barely eating at all. He's only just given up the boob and this has resulted in him eating more food.

Good luck!

Sorry to hear you're worrying- my dd was very similar at around 15-16 months but now at 3 is a good eater.

Things I did:

1. drinking plenty of full fat cows milk with an exciting straw in it.
2. put everything on a peppa pig plate or bowl
3. make every meal 'picnic plates' - little bits of cheese, ham, bread, grapes, banana, toast, whatever. Get a picnic blanket out and have a picnic with her!
4. show no signs of stress at all about what she ate, never mind what I felt inside. Just take it away and don't mention food again until the next meal time.

Do you eat with her or have a friend with a dc that could have lunch at yours?

I am not in the same position as you but I know my dd eats more at nursery because she is seeing the others eat the same (things that she would never eat at home she will eat there).

Sorry I dont have anything more constructive

she seems to be a 'lion' type. eating loads once every few days and very little in between.

is she otherwise well? healthy complexion? alert, full of beans? does she sleep fine?

if yes, don't worry. keep offering a variety of food and don't ghink of table manners until a year later or so.

My DD was like this. Didn't eat anything until 12 months! She's now 23 months and eats like a horse but it's a very recent thing. I just kept offering and kept offering. In the end I did restrict her milk intake and she immediately started eating more (she loves cheese and yoghurt though).

Ah sorry posted in wrong thread apologies op phone malfunction

It's so hard having a fussy eater, especially of the grumpy toddler variety! I am going through it too...

A few ideas/thoughts:

-make no fuss, show no frustration, a little gentle coaxing is ok but don't pressurise

-do they have a favourite tv show/ character? My DD adores Thomas the tank and Peppa, so we bought yoghurts with those on the pots, they are expensive though so we wash the pots and refill with whatever we have in. Get plates/bowls/cutlery with pictures on too?

-this might not be a popular idea but it helps my kid eat so i don't care. I let her watch tv sometimes to distract her from her frustration with the food. She gawps at the tv while i hand her loaded forks/spoons or pop food in her mouth. I do intend to stop this but for now, it helps relax her and eat calmly.

-remove the food as soon as playing with it begins.

• don't give lovely snacks/treats to fill them up if the meal wasn't eaten. Just boring snacks like rice cakes/toast/dry fruit etc. They might think they can refuse a meal if they think treats will come out!

• any favourite foods/snacks? My DD loves cheese, so i incorporate it in many foods or sprinkle some on top.

Good luck!

I agree it sounds a bit strange unless you and your partner are particularly small so you would expect her to drop percentiles at some point.

Have you tried cooking with her, mine will eat all sorts when we are cooking but not when its served at the table. I started with the easy things like a fruit salad, biscuits/cake, salad with peppers and cucumber (toddler favorits) etc.

Also I'd drop a bf and offer water (or diluted juice if needed for a while) with meals (from a sippy cup).

Thanks all, sorry about delay in replying, I was on a night shift.

I've tried a lot of those suggestions. My plan was always to offer her food, take it away with no fuss and not offer an alternative. This however doesn't bother her in the least. She's happy not to have any. We always sit down with her but to be honest it's an absolute nightmare. She throws the food, won't sit at the table. Often I let her sit on my lap and help herself to my plate but she's liable to throw my food too! She's hit and miss at nursery. She eats more frequently there, but never finishes anything and eats tiny amounts painfully slowly. Even these good days I refer to will see her eat one good meal!

I do my best not to push her or show my frustration but it's tough. Today I let her have her lunch in the living area while she played and she definitely ate a little more. Just feel like we should be able to sit down together to eat- I love to cook and see meal time as family time. But I suppose for now the aim is to get her used to eating at all and hopefully she'll get used to having a full tummy!

She won't have any milk, yoghurt, cream or cheese unless it's disguised (in Mac and cheese for example). The only foods she really likes is strangely fish so I give her as much as I can. She'll usually eat a few bites of fish. I'm worried she'll get sick of it though! Loves water, that's not a problem.

I haven't tried cooking with her, but will give it a go for sure. She certainly loves to make a mess.

She's otherwise happy, never sits still. Runs everywhere, jumps and climbs. Great with her hands, loves duplo. Speech isn't great (has about 10-15 words, none of which are very clear) so I wonder if it's partly frustration. She's very able to communicate though and understands lots. Sleeps fine, through the night 50% of the time or wakes just once.

She's always been very attached to the breast. I feel guilty about working and probably give in more than I should as I know she misses me when I'm gone.

My only concern is the lack of weight gain. She's dropped from above the 75th centile line at 6 months, to below the 25th now. If she stabilised I'd be happy that she's just finding a new line, but she's consistently slipping. She still in a lot of her 9-12 month clothes, which she's been wearing since last winter at this stage!