Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Parental Definitions

5 replies

Eve · 02/05/2002 10:42

Thought you might all appreciate this:

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to make love again.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first born's dummy by boiling it and to your last baby's dummy by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pyjamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words.

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house...

WEEKEND: when Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
jenny2998 · 02/05/2002 23:20

Oh how true!!!

Thanks for that Eve, certainly brought a smile to my face (and left mr nodding in rcognition)

jenny2998 · 02/05/2002 23:21

left mr nodding in rcognition)

that should have been ME nodding - i really should preview my messages before posting...

mollipops · 03/05/2002 08:19

This is excellent! Had me giggling aloud - thank you!

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joben · 18/05/2002 20:11

The alternative first word of second/third child could be "mine". My first child never said this. My 20 month second child says it all the time!

batey · 18/05/2002 20:29

Loved "verbal", I've had nothing but "cow juice now" (milk!) all day from my 2 y/o , driving me slightly potty!

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