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Original poster

Has any one been unsure about having a third and decided to stick with 2 ?

42 replies

Kayleighann · 29/09/2015 16:05

Hi I having been searching the internet about being unsure about having a third baby and have found lots of post ppl saying they were unsure for years but decided yes but I've not found any that have said they thought about it for a long time and decided no.
I wondered if those who decided no does the feeling for another baby go away? Is there any regrets for not having a third?

I'm so unsure and driving myself insane. I go from a definate yes to a definate no on a daily basis Confused

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Original poster
Kayleighann · 01/10/2015 20:56

We brought the pet substitute last year, a bulldog puppy. It worked for a few months but now I'm back to wanting a baby so it didn't help long term lol.

Nickyeds- oh dear, these are the kind of things that change my mind. I have a good day like today and I'm 100% yes but then a bad day, to many tantrums, back chat and refusing to do simple things like get dressed takes me back to 100% never lol xx

OP posts:
tryhard · 01/10/2015 21:34

Oh dear...are you telling me that a pug puppy will not satisfy the baby craving?! ;)

Original poster
Kayleighann · 02/10/2015 09:10

I'm afraid not lol. It will for a few months and then the baby starts pushing it's way back in to ur mind. Funny enough my oh has offered to buy me a second dog I would like a pug or French bulldog but I know I will still want a baby and then I will only find it harder if I have a newborn plus 2 dogs lol
My bulldog is my baby now but she doesn't quite feel the gap of a human baby x

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Original poster
Kayleighann · 02/10/2015 12:23

After a positive day yesterday I'm having a negative one today. Yesterday I was on a 100% yes day. Today I'm 99% no.

I feel like I'm being selfish if I have another. Oh is very easy going and says if a third will make me happy have another, but will it make him happy! Working harder to provide, coming home from a hard days work to a screaming baby. Going to work after a sleepless night.

Maybe I should stop thinking about my wants and needs and think about whats best for my family
Xx

OP posts:
NickyEds · 02/10/2015 12:38

We're having a good day today. Baby slept from 10.30 to 5.45am! I'm currently eating lunch with them both asleep. Toddler not been too destructive and tantrummy.........I could handle a third.........Hmm

Original poster
Kayleighann · 02/10/2015 12:41

Grin what are we like lol

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Original poster
Kayleighann · 03/10/2015 16:39

Hi everyone thank you so much for all your comments on here they have really helped. Myself and oh sat down and had a long chat about it. I told him how I feel like I'm going crazy with the decision etc.
He opened up too and said if it was just his decision he would rather stick with 2. We went over all the pros and cons and have decided to stick with 2.
I actually feel a huge relief a decision has finally been made. I had a few tears last night at the fact I won't be pregnant again Or get to go through the whole experience of a newborn again but I'm looking forward to moving on to the nxt stage now. It's also a relief financially to think we don't have to worry about buying a new house etc.
I hope I'm making the right decision and don't regret it but I have 2 beautiful healthy children. I have a boy and a girl. A wonderful husband and happy marriage I will hopefully have no regrets xxx

OP posts:
NickyEds · 04/10/2015 20:17

Good to hear opSmile

Kategundry · 06/01/2021 17:16

Kayleighann - this is an old thread but it's everything I'm feeling! Did you stick with your decision to stay with 2? Did you ever regret it? I'm 38.5 and feel I've no time to decide 😭

blowinahoolie · 07/01/2021 05:49

Best to imagine life with adult children in years to come. How many of those do you want? I wanted my dining room table filled up so I have four DC. The baby years pass so quickly.

JanewaysBun · 07/01/2021 17:35

Glad to hear OP
I swing a lot, I like the idea of 3 kids but my 2 are so perfect I often think leave as is. In a way I wish on either had a surprise or tried but didn't have one so at least I don't have to decide!!!

Mumplum1 · 08/01/2021 18:49

Following 🙂

Rlar105 · 11/02/2023 21:08

Sorry to jump on this thread but I’m going through the same decision… I have a 2 year 3 month old boy and an 8 month old girl and would have a third tomorrow if the stars all aligned. Im currently 35 and wouldn’t want one much later than 36/37 so we would have to decide quickly (a personal preference). The only issue is both my DH and I have to/ want to work full time. Just wondering if anyone with 3 were from a family where you both worked full time and if so, how did you find it?

CheshireCat1 · 11/02/2023 22:57

I had my third, ten years after having my second. I hardly put the youngest down as I knew how quickly they grow up, he’s now grown into a lovely caring and loving young man, as have my two oldest, I’m so proud of them. They all get on with each other and their partners, they’re always helping one another out and still spend lots of time together. They’re all grown now but if I could turn back the clock I would have had even more.

Zarah786 · 27/03/2024 10:12

Kayleighann · 30/09/2015 10:58

Thank you all for your replies.

My 2 children are boy 9 and girl 6. I worry about the age gap as I would be starting from the beginning again.
After my second I didn't have the urge for another at all. I was the complete opposite. I found going from one to two very hard and my second was a screamer and cried constantly. She was hard through all the toddler stage and completely put me off wanting another. Then she grew out of that stage and having 2 was lovely. Once she started school I suddenly started thinking about a third and for the last year I've thought of nothing else.

When she started school I felt so lost and sat at home sad a lot. I'm a sahm so for 9 years I've been mothering my babies and suddenly they are gone and I feel so alone.
I was hoping the feeling wud go but it's only gotten stronger.

There are far my cons to having a third than pros but arnt there always! I wud of had far more cons for my first and second to.

Pros - having a baby to look after again and all the lovely baby years again??
-another sibling for my children
-three times the fun when they are older
-getting to go through pregnancy, birth one last time

Cons

  • the big age gap
-sleepless nights -upsetting my older 2 they may not enjoy having a baby around -splitting days out up such as cinema, older 2 will go with me or oh while other stays at home with baby. -space , we have 3 bedrooms so someone will have to share with baby. -pregnancy sickness, I suffered terribly with hyperemissus with my last and was in and out of hospital on a drip.
  • financially, we are comfortable now, will a third stretch us to far! Will my 2 get less because we can't afford certain things once there's 3 to pay for.
-my 2 getting less attention from me

I feel bad saying cons as how can there be a con of having a beautiful baby another child to love.

I'm 34 so altho not over the hill I still don't feel like time is on my side. My oh is very aware of our age and says if we are having one it has to be soon as he doesn't want to be a old dad.
He feels the same as me and is not 100% he worries about all the same things I do.

I worry I will get to old to have one and regret it. But then I also worry if I have one I will regret it. I may have one and think what have I done our family was perfect and now I've turned everything upside down.
Or I may have one and think what was a worrid about things are perfect.

I feel so sad my 2 are getting older. I sit here many evenings upset wishing the years would slow down.
I have loved my mummy years to 2 small children and wish it would last forever. I wonder sometimes if I actually want another baby or if I just can't come to terms with the fact my 2 are getting bigger.

ConfusedConfused

What did you decide to do? In exactly the same boat now. Every single thing you mentioned is exactly what I’m going through now!

Honestmumof2 · 01/04/2024 22:32

I’d love to know how you’re doing and feeling now OP xx

Educationclock · 04/11/2024 12:32

Any updates on what you decided? I feel the exact same. It’s so hard watching your babies grow up. 😢

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